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Strategies & Market Trends
Lee Kramer's "DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes
An SI Board Since June 2001
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Emcee:  lee kramer Type:  Unmoderated
DAY-TRADING: The Highs and the Woes

You don’t get to the top of the day-trading game overnight. It takes hard work, a supportive wife, and a good shrink.

But I did it and I’m going to tell you how you too can do it. It involves some

A few years ago I told my loving wife Suzy my Grand Plan: I would quit my day job, the one that pays the mortgage, the orthodontist, the insurance, the taxes and all the other bills.

Suzy listened attentively to my well thought out plan to stay home and trade on-line. Then she whipped a heavy cast-iron pot at my head. And connected.

“But honey” I cried, holding my throbbing noggin and wiping blood from my eyes, “Everyone’s doing it, trading at home and getting rich. Don’t you want us to be rich?”

I ducked as another pot whizzed by my ear.

“But sweetheart, don’t you want me home with you all day?”

She gave me the look; the one she reserves for the village-idiot and chronic droolers.

Mmm, I thought, this was not going well. I decided that direct action would bring her around.

I bought a top of the line Compaq computer, cost $2.500. I contracted with MSN for three years of on-line internet service, cost $720. I ordered fifteen books
that promised me I’d become a great day-trader, cost $540. I called my boss and quit. I had everything I needed. I was ready.


When Suzy learned what I’d done we had a heckuva fight. She insisted I first see a shrink.

“Absolutely not” I snapped, “No shrinks for me.”

“If you want to make nick-nick with me tonight you’ll go.” She replied.

Damn, she was good.

My appointment with doc Kronkite was for 7:00 a.m. On the drive over I was a little apprehensive. I’d never talked to a shrink before. I’d heard they were all a little cuckoo.

I was ushered into the doc’s office by his strikingly lovely receptionist, Thelma Tushbumper, who gave me a nice smile. I took this as a good sign.

Doc Kronkite was standing behind a massive oak desk, looking an awful lot like Mel Brooks, wild hair and all. I nodded.

“On the couch lie down already” he bellowed and I eased myself onto his lumpy leather couch.

“It’s good you come to tell me your troubles. I’m a specialist you know.
What is it? Insomnia, trouble in the congugation-bed? You suffer maybe from
premature congratulations?”

It seems the doc was a bit of a malapropist.

“Well doc, maybe a touch of insomnia. See, I’m a day-trader and Suzy says you can help me.”

“I can? Right, right, I can. Did I tell you I was a specialist?”

“I think so doc.”

“It’s good you came to me,” he said “I cured Albert Epstein when he went years without sleep when he was trying to invent regularity.”

“You mean relativity, don’t you doc?”

“Exactly. That’s what I said, regularity. I cured Richard Nixon , Jean Dixon, Donner and Blitzen, Raymond Massey, Shirley Bassie, Hilea Silasie, the string section of the N. Y. Milharphonic,Connie Chung, Dennis Fung and four-fifths of the Jackson Five. Michael kept walking backward on me, a real challenge that boy. Didn’t you read my best-seller, “The Truss: Friend or Foe?” I did a whole chapter on insomnia.

“Guess I missed that chapter doc.” I lied.

“So talk on me about day-trading. What means day-trading?”

“Well doc, you buy 500 shares of DELL at 62 and sell it ten minutes later at 63. Then you buy 1,000 shares of EMC at 75 and kick it out fifteen minutes
later at 75 ¾. Doc, it’s great!.

“Mmm, I think some free-association is definitely in order.” He said.

“Free-association? Never heard of it doc.” I replied.

“ I’ll say a word and you say the first thing that enters your head. Idiot.

“Pity it,” I said.

“I say idiot and you say pity it? Wherefrom comes pity it?”

“Rhymes with idiot doc. Idiot, pity it. Get it?” I said.

“You think maybe I’m running a poultry class here? Do I look like Robert Frosty? No more rhymes. Ok. AMAZON.”

“Short.” I said.

“Short? What means short?” he asked.

“I mean AMAZOM should be sold short. It’s how we day-traders make money when a stock goes down.” I replied.

”Mmm. You make money when a stock goes down? Impossible. I can see you’re a casket of neurosis.” He meant basket of course.

“See Miss Tushbumper on the way out. Make appointments, lots of appointments if you want to be a successful day-trader. I’m a specialist you know.”

“I know doc. And doc? Thanks. See you next week.

Lee Kramer

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9DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes 8/18/01 I was eager, eagelee kramer-8/20/2001
8DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes I made it to doc Kronkite's in record tilee kramer-8/11/2001
7DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes I was in the basement of a church, standinglee kramer-7/28/2001
6DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes I just returned from my weekly session with lee kramer-7/21/2001
5Lee Kramer's "DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes" I love gamblerslee kramer-7/14/2001
4TLC: My apologies. Just read Cousin Shorty's last post. He ain't you. I lee kramer-7/9/2001
3TLC...Your "cousin" who does the goofy stuff sure has been busy for thlee kramer-7/9/2001
2Hi Lee, I just now saw your post, by accident. It was a response to a cut and Don Pueblo-7/5/2001
1DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes I was unusually anxious as I drove to see mylee kramer-6/24/2001
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