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Politics
SHOULD AL GORE INVADE CANADA ?
An SI Board Since November 2000
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63 4 0
Emcee:  Don Pueblo Type:  Moderated
It makes total sense if you think about it.

Canada just had their election and the Liberals won big, 40% of the vote. The conservatives, who call themselves Queenies or something like that, had their votes usurped by the French Canadian party, The Moosehead Party, the Hockey Party, and the Ice Fishermen Party, I believe.

Look at the logistics. Canada has no way to defend itself from an invasion by the Democrats from the United States. You just drive across the border! This is totally bloodless!

Here's the proposal: Al drives across the border to Canada with Bill Daley, Warren Christopher, Dave Boies, and the rest of the team, including all the union administrative personnel. They go to whatever the main city is up there and take over. They call it New Canada. Then Al goes on TV up there and offers the following deal to the Canadians. (Al has to make sure he has the Canadian flags behind him and not the American flag.)

President Gore's Address to the Fine Citizens of New Canada

"My fellow New Canadians. And I say that with a great amount of pride.

"I want every citizen of our Great Frozen Land to count. In the past, every citizen has not been counted. There are tens of thousands of Canadian citizens that should have a full, fair, and accurate count. I have assumed control of this country by whatever means necessary, and there is nothing you can do about it so just listen and shut up.

"I propose today the following Plan:

"Every Democrat in the United States that thinks I got screwed in the election and won't survive being ruled by that nimrod from Texas will be allowed to cross the border into Canada and get a free apartment and a free car and snowmobile or whatever, and free medical and dental and all that, a license to practice law, and a good job working for me! In exchange for that Democrat arriving in Canada, one conservative Canadian will be allowed instant U.S. citizenship and will be bussed down to Florida. There are lots of Canadians there already, by the way. Each conservative Canadian will receive a check for twenty dollars (Canadian), a Florida lottery ticket, a beautiful fruit basket with fresh fruit, and a newspaper so he can find somewhere to live and a job in the United States and all that.

"I haven't checked with George Bush on this yet, but I'll bet he goes for it.

"Once the transition is complete, all the Democrats will be up here in Canada, eh! All the old fossilized conservatives will be in Florida! Are you with me? All we do is just move back down over the border, and we take the whole place except for a few states we don't need and nobody likes anyway like Florida and Texas and Mexico. You get to keep your apartment up here and you get a few acres in Nebraska or wherever. Then we have everything, we have this, we have Detroit and Chicago, everything! If you are a Democrat and you already live in Kansas or Minnesota or one of those weird places with no cities, you can just hang out.

"Thank you, and God bless America. I mean New Canada. What? The Queen? What queen? You're high. Really? Where? Great Britian? Right. No problem.

"God bless me, myself, and I!

"Thank you, and good evening."

************

Let's talk about it! No conservatives on this thread please.

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63Canada has sanctions against Brazil beef exports coming into the country. The taverage joe-2/13/2001
62TLC, I still laugh every time I see this thread while looking for a specific thTH-2/10/2001
61Canada is an immigration destination, people come here to hang their hat and be average joe-2/9/2001
60'A nation united by our hatred of Toronto, and by our envy of Vancouver'marcos-2/8/2001
59ROFL! Good luck with the moat. They'd better hurry if they want to push ToroTom Clarke-2/8/2001
58BC break away? - not a chance, we're with Oilberta and Saskatoba ... plan ismarcos-2/8/2001
57Thank God for Conrad Black. I wish he'd buy more American papers. How are tTom Clarke-2/8/2001
56Oh it does, does it? And well it should. My only hope is that one day we will haverage joe-2/8/2001
55I think somebody should. They just loom over us and never say anything. Makes meTom Clarke-2/7/2001
54<i>11. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Hawkmoon-2/4/2001
53So, what DOES a Canadian Have to be Proud of? 1. Smarties 2. Crispy Crunch 3.CIMA-2/4/2001
52<i>I don't like that post of yours</i> Yeah.. it was kinda edgyHawkmoon-12/5/2000
51Ron, as much as I like you... I don't like that post of yours. A lot of greaZardoz-12/5/2000
50<i>And we'll just invade you.</i> Kinda like y'all did at DHawkmoon-12/4/2000
49You bet! We'll gladly trade any Demicrat for any Canadian! Well, <i>Lazarus_Long-12/4/2000
48Best move quickly. Our current Prexy will gladly give away any US military you Lazarus_Long-12/4/2000
47If all we have to stop your Indians is our Canadian army we may need to call in average joe-12/4/2000
46OJ-II The Election... stream1.iims.intelonline.comc.horn-12/2/2000
45I guess I am famous then. Yep that's me. Taking over the US... And we'lISOMAN-12/2/2000
44I Will Arrange A Transition Team To Begin Immediately. -G- Because It Does MakeEashoa' M'sheekha-12/2/2000
43TLC, It's good that you can retain your sense of humour at this time of humrajaggs-12/2/2000
42ISOMAN, was it not you that was planning an invasion by Canada of the U.S. on thQone0-12/2/2000
41First I am a conservative, but I am posting here anyway. Why can't you AmerISOMAN-12/1/2000
40I guess we bombed you first with the export of "Pamela Anderson Lee Harvey average joe-12/1/2000
39TLC. I gotta tell ya, all them Demicrats would be welcome up here. Hell, we aCush-12/1/2000
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