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Strategies & Market Trends : VOLTAIRE'S PORCH-MODERATED -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: RR who wrote (59863)11/28/2003 1:16:05 AM
From: elpolvo  Respond to of 65232

Frank P. Hoosen scares me.


To: RR who wrote (59863)11/30/2003 8:47:46 AM
From: Clappy  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 65232
There was a poster once on here that figured out who
Frank P. Hoosen really was, but I don't communicate with
him anymore.

Since I don't recall Keith ever mentioning the dude, I'm
assuming that poster would be me. And as far as not
communicating with me anymore, I still read what you write
and if you are reading this silly message of mine, then we
are still communicating. <g>

Here is what I remember finding out about your friend.

Frank P. Hoosen - (1943 - ?) Decorated war hero
responsible for saving 17 of his fellow soldiers who were
being held as prisoners of the Cold War.

Later, became a successful businessman after inventing the
three pronged electrical receptacle outlet used in all
homes today. Soon after he invented the two pronged
adapter that allows three pronged plugs to be plugged into
the older two pronged ungrounded outlets.

Other inventions include the electric time clock used to
turn on and off Christmas lights, and the little blinker bulb
that makes the Christmas lights flash on and off.

His most famous invention is the Whoopie Cushion who he
reportedly first jokingly demonstrated on a good friend of
his at a national law convention held at the University of
Arkansas. Hoosen is also the Razorback record holder in
the hundred yard dash after being chased later that day by
that flatulent friend of his who had the prank played on.

This same lawyer friend is currently reported to be
defending his friend Hoosen in a class action suit by a
bunch of goobers who are angered that they spent the entire
weekend decorating the front of their homes with Hoosen
Brand Christmas lights but suffer the familiar problem of
half the string remaining unlit. They are claiming damages
due to the amount of time and labor it takes to trace the
entire string of lights looking for the faulty light bulb.
They also are claiming damages due to their darling little
children who now repeat the same cuss words as their
parents including the phase "Razzin' Frazzin' No Good
%#$@&*^% Lights!!!" (This is a hint of what Clappy's day
was like yesterday.) Hoosen claims it is the Chinese's
fault for manufacturing them with low tolerances of

Hoosen is currently testing out two other inventions of his.
The first is called the "RR Hammer" which is shaped like a
judge's wooden gavel. However the complicated electronics
inside cause 90% of all judgements to go the the side of
the corporation being defended. It's other primary use is
to temporarily quiet the sound of whiny democrat weenies
with a polite wallop to the noggin.

The second invention is a devise called the "Automatic
Critter Feeder" that puts peanut butter on preloaded
cartridges of Ritz Crackers and shoots them out like a
Skeet Clay Pigeon thrower.

I found this info here:

This is only a partial list of Frank P. Hoosen's
acomplishments and will try to furnish more info when I
have more time. The list is endless.