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   PastimesLaughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke


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To: Stephen O who wrote (61023)10/25/2021 5:11:45 PM
From: Stephen O
4 Recommendations   of 61375
 
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the

Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for
her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.

The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line

is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.


The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2
men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is
so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory
floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle
Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small
marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric,
wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little
package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of
hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but
I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'



'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles'.

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To: Stephen O who wrote (61024)10/25/2021 6:47:58 PM
From: Jeffrey S. Mitchell
   of 61375
 
The short version, couched as a pickup line:

Can I see if I can make you laugh by giving you two test tickles?

- Jeff

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To: Jeffrey S. Mitchell who wrote (61025)10/25/2021 9:21:39 PM
From: Savant
1 Recommendation   of 61375
 
Or the coed warning the new coed about a certain professor...."don't worry about the quizees, it's the testees."

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From: Savant10/25/2021 9:22:15 PM
5 Recommendations   of 61375
 
Ol' Frank..


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To: Jams who wrote (61015)10/26/2021 5:14:28 AM
From: ekimaa
2 Recommendations   of 61375
 
Now that's strange. I figured it's twenty firth street as the person who painted the number has a lisp.

Mike

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To: TimF who wrote (60991)10/30/2021 8:01:15 AM
From: MeTwo
   of 61375
 
Excellent :D

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To: Savant who wrote (60993)10/30/2021 8:02:40 AM
From: MeTwo
   of 61375
 
Haha, very good!

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From: Joachim K10/31/2021 4:27:45 AM
1 Recommendation   of 61375
 
BREAKING NEWS:

Feeling the need to do her part, Kamala Harris landed in Tahiti today to help with the rescue effort.

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From: Joachim K10/31/2021 4:29:15 AM
3 Recommendations   of 61375
 
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

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From: Joachim K10/31/2021 4:34:53 AM
4 Recommendations   of 61375
 
What kind of a bagel can fly?
A plain bagel…

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey!
(you might have to say that out loud. Slow. Ten times.)

Why couldn't the guy carrying two dead dogs get on the airplane?
He was allowed only one carrion…

Why do mathematical cowboys like to round up their cows?
Let me give you an example.
Say you start with 185 cows.
After you round them up -
you have 200!

What was more important than the invention of the first telephone?
The second one!

Several years ago I started to run a mile a day to keep fit.
Now no one knows where I am!

Don't ever get your shoes from a drug dealer.
They'll be laced in such a way that you'll be tripping all day long!

What sits on a tree and goes "Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah!"?
An owl with a speech impediment.

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