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   PastimesLaughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Savant who wrote (60993)9/24/2021 2:54:09 PM
From: Stephen O
10 Recommendations   of 61362

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From: Joachim K9/30/2021 1:45:50 PM
7 Recommendations   of 61362
A rabbi is in Las Vegas and there is a knock at the door of his hotel room. He opens it and standing in front of him is a gorgeous call-girl.

She smiles at him and says "I'm a gift from Max Goldberg."

The rabbi whips out his cell phone calling Max Goldberg, his congregant.

"Goldberg, this time you've gone too far! To a rabbi you send a prostitute?! You're done at Temple Beth Shalom! I don't care how much you've donated to the shul!

You're off the building committee...and the school committee! When I look down from the bimah on Rosh Hashanah I don't want to see your ugly face…and the same goes for Shabbos!"

Seeing how upset the rabbi is the girl starts to leave.

The rabbi covers the mouthpiece and says to her "Where are you going? I'm not mad at you."

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From: TimF9/30/2021 6:28:21 PM
4 Recommendations   of 61362

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From: Celtictrader10/1/2021 7:19:49 AM
9 Recommendations   of 61362
"CAN YOU GET MARRIED IN HEAVEN? On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?' After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple, 'but we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?' St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple. 'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!'"

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From: Savant10/3/2021 1:59:19 PM
1 Recommendation   of 61362
humor...3 lil piglets like u never heard it before...starts after a few warm up jokes

(773) Three Little Pigs Like You've Never Heard Before. John Branyan - YouTube

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From: Thomas M.10/6/2021 10:47:58 AM
1 Recommendation   of 61362
more of a Seagal joke than a Clinton joke


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From: TimF10/7/2021 11:10:06 PM
10 Recommendations   of 61362

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To: TimF who wrote (61000)10/7/2021 11:24:05 PM
From: Sun Tzu
   of 61362
LOL! This is so very true in almost every aspect of life.
Just imagine if anyone would get married if they really knew :)

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To: Sun Tzu who wrote (61001)10/8/2021 7:56:10 PM
From: Stephen O
9 Recommendations   of 61362
John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn.
So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

‘I realise it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained, 'and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few
minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on
the golf weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, "Shawn, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?'
‘Yes, I do,' said Shawn
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!,' Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Shawn's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?'
‘She just died and left me everything.

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To: TimF who wrote (61000)10/10/2021 11:04:02 AM
From: OldAIMGuy
2 Recommendations   of 61362
Hi Tim F,

Happy #61,000 Post Grub!!!


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