| From: Jeffrey S. Mitchell | 9/13/2021 2:16:30 PM | | | | | | 1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job, and people liked to hem and haw about the price.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme..
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, But any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, But had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB - LOVE IT
- Jeff |
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| To: TimF who wrote (60989) | 9/19/2021 4:47:03 PM | | From: Stephen O | | | | A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend, that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex either, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms, and making love. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many contraceptives he'd like to buy, a 3pack, 10 pack, or family pack. The boy insists on a family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. She says, "I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say a prayer and bows his head. Ten minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." And the boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." |
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