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   PastimesLaughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke


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From: Stephen O9/5/2021 6:50:11 PM
3 Recommendations   of 61096
 
A STORY
A story about a fly, a fish, a bear, a hunter, a mouse and a cat
There is a moral to this story, but not exactly the one most of us are expecting!
In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake.
The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular,
"Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly...and I will grab him!"
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich....
"Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish.
I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."
>>
Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one
bank of a lake, but I can tell you there's more....
>>
A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish...the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."
>>
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, (as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time)' "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly ... and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear...and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich ...then I can have mouse for lunch.
>>
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water
>>
The fish swallows the fly... The bear grabs the fish...The hunter shoots the bear.. The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich... The cat jumps for the mouse.. The mouse ducks...The cat falls into the water and drowns.
>>
The moral of the story is:
Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy is in serious danger.

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From: Sun Tzu9/6/2021 9:40:37 AM
1 Recommendation   of 61096
 
Don't fart in an Apple store
.


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To: Sun Tzu who wrote (60979)9/6/2021 12:55:27 PM
From: Stephen O
2 Recommendations   of 61096
 
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."



She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".

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From: Pianoman19979/6/2021 7:25:23 PM
6 Recommendations   of 61096
 

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From: TimF9/7/2021 11:24:31 AM
2 Recommendations   of 61096
 

reddit.com


reddit.com

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From: KenaiTider9/12/2021 10:59:47 AM
1 Recommendation   of 61096
 
scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net

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From: geoffrey Wren9/13/2021 1:01:00 AM
4 Recommendations   of 61096
 
a few jokes

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To: KenaiTider who wrote (60983)9/13/2021 11:19:34 AM
From: The Rabbit
   of 61096
 
Not sure it's AOC taking that stuff...

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To: The Rabbit who wrote (60985)9/13/2021 12:15:38 PM
From: High Grader
   of 61096
 
Invermectin makes you sterile. Darwin knows what he's doing.

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From: Jeffrey S. Mitchell9/13/2021 2:16:30 PM
7 Recommendations   of 61096
 
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job, and people liked to hem and haw about the price.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme..

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, But any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, But had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB - LOVE IT

- Jeff

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