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   PastimesLaughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke


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From: TimF10/15/2019 10:08:24 AM
   of 60568
 
Wife: "Hey honey, can you do that thing.. you know the thing.. that I like so much?"
Husband: "Sure babe" --hands over creditcard--

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From: Pianoman199710/15/2019 4:12:22 PM
1 Recommendation   of 60568
 
My psychiatrist told me that I suffer from severe cyber dependence. I want to heal and I am ready to do what is needed. So I just started a Facebook page to chat about it and my YouTube video has been posted, please like it and register to my channel for more daily videos to come.

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From: High Grader10/15/2019 10:18:31 PM
1 Recommendation   of 60568
 
Dier Luaghtir thrud,

A'm hiving treble wretung thas ell duwn bicieze E huvi luusi buwal syndrum.

At's the rial shuts.

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To: High Grader who wrote (59805)10/16/2019 9:13:00 AM
From: OldAIMGuy
   of 60568
 
Haigh Hache Gee,

Maibee czyk yorh espel czyker.....

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From: TimF10/18/2019 8:30:35 AM
1 Recommendation   of 60568
 
Teacher was wrong

I was always told in school I wouldn’t get paid to look out a window...

...now I’m a truck driver

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To: Jeffrey S. Mitchell who wrote (59792)10/18/2019 2:53:07 PM
From: Fast Eddie
1 Recommendation   of 60568
 
I guess I can unblock him now. RIP

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From: left-over man10/19/2019 12:25:14 PM
1 Recommendation   of 60568
 
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".

This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".

This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

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To: TimF who wrote (59799)10/19/2019 12:32:55 PM
From: left-over man
   of 60568
 
Dangerfield: "Hey Doc, every time I look in the mirror I puke. "

"What's wrong with me?"

Doctor: "I don't know but your eyesight is fine."







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To: Goose94 who wrote (59786)10/20/2019 3:34:10 PM
From: Goose94
2 Recommendations   of 60568
 

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From: TimF10/21/2019 6:18:18 PM
3 Recommendations   of 60568
 
A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.
This has left scientists scratching their heads.

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