A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: |
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and
in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For
Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first
time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the
aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started
to sing in
a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..."
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines
on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got
to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all
the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio
headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow
up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother
"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's
sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little
girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the
pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is
it your Easter dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on
microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's hell to iron."
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,
Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the
Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told that
if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you