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From: TimF12/6/2021 10:57:45 AM
2 Recommendations   of 5305
 

reddit.com

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From: Tomato12/6/2021 1:47:15 PM
   of 5305
 
Winter is nearly here & our native birds will soon be finding food scarce.


Please go to the pet shop & buy a bag of nuts for our feathered friends.


There's no finer sight on a winters morning then a pair of tits around your nut sack.


Just remember, however, it's a bit late in the year to expect a swallow!






What did one Australian Cyclops say to the other?



Good Eye mate!



Rejected Dr. Seuss books:

- The Grinch's Twelve Inches

- Horton Fakes an Orgasm

- My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket

- Horton Hires a Ho

- Who Shat in the Hat?

- The Cat in the Blender

- Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbet

- One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch

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From: Tomato12/6/2021 10:10:50 PM
1 Recommendation   of 5305
 
A Jewish man named Saul Epstein owned a successful nail company. When he retires, he hands it over to his son-in-law. He then moves to Florida.

One day, he’s reading the NY Times and sees a full page ad with a picture of Jesus on the cross, and below are the words, “They Used Epstein Nails."

Furious, Saul calls this son-in-law and says, “Are you out of your mind? That’s no way to sell our product!’

The young man promises to fix everything, and a week later, Saul opens the NY Times and sees another full page ad. This one is a picture showing
an empty cross on a hill. In front of it is Jesus face down in the dust. On either side of him are 2 Roman soldiers along with the caption,
"They Didn’t Use Epstein Nails"

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From: Tomato12/7/2021 3:26:56 PM
1 Recommendation   of 5305
 
A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked a blonde waitress for a lobster tail.



She smiled sweetly and said, “Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…”

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From: TimF12/9/2021 9:47:28 PM
2 Recommendations   of 5305
 

reddit.com

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From: Aladdin Sane12/10/2021 6:44:44 AM
   of 5305
 
off colour :)



courtesy Pogue

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From: Aladdin Sane12/10/2021 7:22:53 AM
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From: Tomato12/11/2021 6:10:14 PM
   of 5305
 
What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.



I got a Jehovah's Witness themed advent calender this year....
I didn't open any of the doors.


Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar
but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more.



Why should you never buy The Doors themed advent Calender's?
Because they keep breaking on through to the other side.



Instead of going to the liquor store, I'm gonna get a Oscar Pistorious Advent Calendar, because there's a shot behind every door.


Why does Jeremy Corbyn enjoy advent calendars?


Because it is the only time he will open the door to Number 10.

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From: Tomato12/12/2021 8:15:05 PM
   of 5305
 
What does a man who's had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?



Decorative balls.

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From: PappaJohn12/13/2021 3:53:53 PM
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