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How pastors control their flocks through a nearly imperceptible form of manipulation. I think there is a lot of validity to this pastor's point of view.
"You know how much I love you. Please don't say, feel, think or do anything that might remotely disappoint me." This is the most effective way many try to control people. It is subtle and often not recognized as control or even manipulation or abuse. They shower you with what feels like love and kindness. So much so that they would be absolutely alarmed that you would think, feel, say or do anything that might even remotely disappoint them. They love you so much and take such good care of you and know what’s best for you that you are terrified of hurting them.