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   PastimesDusty's Den For Friends and Chatter about Anything Decent


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To: Dusty who wrote ()6/2/1998 1:21:00 PM
From: Dusty
   of 71
 
Hi folks I found the following on the Art Bell Web Site and thought others might find it amusing.

Don't forget to sing

Two Digits for a Date

(to the tune of "Gilligan's Island," more or less)

Author Unknown

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
Of the doom that is our fate.
That started when programmers used
Two digits for a date.
Two digits for a date.

Main memory was smaller then;
Hard disks were smaller, too.
"Four digits are extravagant,
So let's get by with two.
So let's get by with two."

"This works through 1999,"
The programmers did say.
"Unless we rewrite before that
It all will go away.
It all will go away."

But Management had not a clue:
"It works fine now, you bet!
A rewrite is a straight expense;
We won't do it just yet.
We won't do it just yet."

Now when 2000 rolls around
It all goes straight to @#%&,
For zero's less than ninety-nine,
As anyone can tell.
As anyone can tell.

The mail won't bring your pension check
It won't be sent to you
When you're no longer sixty-eight,
But minus thirty-two.
But minus thirty-two.

The problems we're about to face
Are frightening, for sure.
And reading every line of code's
The only certain cure.
The only certain cure.

(key change, big finish)

There's not much time,
There's too much code.
(And Cobol-coders, few)
When the century is finished with,
We may be finished, too.
We may be finished, too.

Eight thousand years from now I hope
That things weren't left too late,
And people aren't then lamenting
Four digits for a date.
Four digits for a date.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sysop - 12:56am Apr 30, 1998 PST (#42 of 43)
Keith Rowland
A FEW PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN BUMPER SNICKERS (and a few familiar ones)

I'm a corporate executive -- I keep things from happening.

If Clinton is the answer, it was a stupid question.

Lobotomies for Democrats: It's the law.

Bad Cop! No donut!

Where are we going and why am I in this andbasket?

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

He's not dead -- He's electroencephalographically challenged.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sysop - 02:13pm May 4, 1998 PST (#43 of 43)
Keith Rowland
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course,does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web department take it down immediately:

Registration Card
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_]Comrade [_] Classified [_] Presidente [_] Other

First Name: .....................................................
Initial: ........
Last Name: ......................................................
Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
Code Name: ......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... /......

4. Serial Number: ................................................

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / all
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:

[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)

[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation:

[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups,and mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO





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To: Dusty who wrote ()6/2/1998 3:08:00 PM
From: Dusty
   of 71
 
Subject 7983

This a link to "Laughter is the best Medicine" it is a joke site and has some really funny stuff...

Enjoy!

Dusty :o)

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