Pick-Up Lines
I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
Nice legs...what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher,have you
seen one?
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.
—
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you
get pregnant from anal intercourse?”
"Certainly," replies the doctor,
"Where do you think lawyers come from?”
—
What did Princess Diana die of?
Car-pole-tunnel syndrome.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and a Volvo? Diana wouldn't
be seen dead in a Volvo!
What did the Queen say when she heard Princess Diana died in a car
smash?
Was Fergie with her?
Prince Charles was out early the other day walking the dog. When a
passer-by said "Morning", Charles said "No, just walking the dog."
What's the Queen giving Fergie for Christmas?
A trip to Paris, dinner at the Ritz, and a chauffeur-driven Mercedes
What did Princess Di say to Dodi after he gave her the Ring? Aren't we
moving a bit too fast?
Why did Elton John sing at the funeral? Because he was the only old queen there who cared.
By the way, Elton John is now set to make a tribute record for Mother
Teresa...
'Sandals in the Bin'
What was the last thing Di said to Dodi? These paparazzi are driving
me up the wall
What does Diana's bumper sticker say?
My other car's a decoy.
What is the difference between leeches and the paparazzi?
Leeches fall off after you die.
What did the French mortuary attendant say when he got the body bags?
Zip-a-de Dodi, Zip-a-de Di
Why didn't Dodi's Dad have the mausoleum heated?
'Cause Dodi already had a radiator in his chest. |
