What’s the quickest way to get in touch with your inner self?
Single ply toilet paper.
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A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her student.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.”
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| A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 200,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.
The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal.”
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "If I only can sell the car.
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.”
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?”
"No," replied the blonde, “Why would I? It only has 51,000 miles on it." | | -- |
Just watched legally blonde and my girlfriend asked if I’d fuck Reece Witherspoon
I said I’d love to but I’d rather use my penis.
I said I’d love to but I’d rather use my penis.
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