My Labrador ate the engagement ring I was going to propose to my girlfriend with.
I guess it is now a diamond in the ruff.
(Maybe you'll be able to find it through the process of elimination)
—
My doctor used 2 fingers during my prostate exam.
He said he needed a second opinion.
—
What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
Not everyone has been in a limousine.
—
A woman was trying to breastfeed her son on a bus.
The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on her mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."
An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, I'm really gonna give this to this man beside us!"
Then the guy beside them suddenly interrupted, "Please make up your mind now. My stop was 30 minutes ago.”
—
A man and his hook-up are lying together in bed after sex.
All of a sudden, she starts fondling his balls,
Feeling good about himself he asks her,
"Are you that excited for round two?"
She replies,
"No, it's just that your balls…."
"What about em?"
"They're making me miss mine.” |
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