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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato	8/9/2024 3:43:55 PM
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How does Gov. Rockefeller get up every morning? Feeling Happy. -- Who’s the worst carpenter in England? Kristine Keeler….one screw and the whole cabinet falls apart. -- What did John John get for Christmas? A Jack-in-the-box. -- What’ll it take to get the Beatles back together? 3 more bullets. (now it’s 2 more) -- JFK jokes: A JFK conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. "Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully." Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, "Who really shot Kennedy?" God replies, "Lee Harvey Oswald shot him from sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository. There were no accomplices. He acted alone" The conspiracy theorist pauses, thinks to himself, then says "Shit! This goes higher up than I thought…" — My favorite sex position is called "the JFK"... She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress. — I just found out JFK was jewish. He was shot in the temple. — What did JFK say about his multiple affairs? "I did them not because they were easy, but because I was hard.” — There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy... Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846. JFK was elected into Congress in 1946. Lincoln was elected President in 1860. JFK was elected President in 1960. Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy. Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln. A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.

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