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Pastimes : Jokes and Humor Only

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From: Tomato7/1/2024 2:25:00 PM
   of 6028
 
When I was much younger, I had a massive sex drive.

My girlfriend lived 450 miles away.



My girlfriend invited me to her house where I found her sister alone. So I sat there waiting for my girlfriend while her unbelievable hot 22 year old sister was sitting next to me.

few moments later she whispered in my ear “we should have sex while my sister isn't home.”

I immediately got up and turned around to head back to my car.

I found my girlfriend standing next to the car. She had a huge smile on her face, hugged me, and exclaimed “you've won my trust!”

Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in your car!



My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your fucking obsession with the Wimbledon Championships."

I replied, "That's 15 love.”



I was sitting in a bathroom stall doing my business, when suddenly the guy in the next stall...



asks “Hey man, how are you doing?"

A little confused I replied: “good, I guess.”

To my surprise the guy continued with: "What ya doin'?"

Despite being even more confused I manage to mumble: “Oh. I guess the same as you."

Without any hesitation in his voice he said: "Cool. Do you want me to come over and help you out?"

A bit scared, I replied as firmly as I could: "Hey man, I really appreciate the offer and all, but I am not into that kinda stuff and doing all fine here and......"

…before I could finish my sentence the guy said: "Hang on a minute John, there is this weird guy in the neighbour stall, who is replying to eveything I say."

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