THE RIGHT THING TO DO
(Part 3)
For the entire month of December I got the vacation I was hoping for but never got after the old store was torn down. I was hoping they would give us all a nice healthy vacation, and then bring us back in a couple of days before opening the new store. Instead, they found ways for us to work, either in other locations, or cleaning the new building even though the work had not been completed.
Before giving my notice, I prayed about it for quite some time. I didn't want to do something stupid just because I was perpetually unhappy with the way things were playing out once the new store had been opened. But I also knew for a long time that I was dying spiritually. My level of faith was much less than after being born again and having the fire of the HOLY SPIRIT operating in my life. I always prayed before going to work and then again in front of the door before walking into the building to begin my shift. But my prayers were becoming ever more desperate as my time with the company continued. I would pray for honest customers, to be aware and alert to all that went on around me, to be sensitive to the HOLY SPIRIT, to see through the eyes of the Lord, and to not let my heart be hardened towards those who had a genuine need. I would also pray the Lord let me know if the need was for real, or just someone trying to play me to get something for nothing. It was during the last months I worked that I began to hear the words come to mind, "Do you mean it?", which was the title of my last Christmas letter.
Prayer is the cornerstone to my own faith walk. The Bible says in Isaiah that one of the names the Lord shall be known as is Counselor. I wondered today what it would be like to visit a counselor who never said a word every time one would have a session with them. I've also known for sometime that there are many people who do not believe the Lord speaks to me. But I decided a long time ago I'd rather have a relationship with GOD the way HE has intended it for me regardless of what other people think. Ninety eight percent of the time the Lord speaks to me as it pertains to my own life, and the other two percent is about someone the Lord brings to mind during prayer, or something I should say to those with whom I go to church. About two years ago the Lord told me nothing was going to change in our own congregation until we all got hungry for HIM.
I didn't go into this without having some idea of what to expect. Any time a person has doubt, satan is going to take full advantage of it by trying to get a person to needlessly worry about what "might" happen. Worry is the first step towards defeat. If I were to think as the "world" thinks, I would have kept my job, especially with a high unemployment rate and the uncertainty of what lies ahead. But the world is not my source; GOD is my source. HE will make a way where there seems no way.
Never-the-less, somewhere along the way, a spirit of fear began to take hold in me even before I left my last employer. It wasn't about what the future held for me with regard to having an income. It was about witnessing to those to whom I had opportunity to do so. It took me quite awhile to figure out what GOD was trying to get me to understand. HE prompted me to read John, chapters 13 through 16 several times, over many days, 2 Samuel, chapter 7, and some others which I don't recall right off hand. GOD was trying to get me to understand that when HE says HE is with you, HE means it. Wherever HE sent me, or whatever HE wanted me to do was not like, "You go do it, and come back when you're done." It is, "I AM going with you, too."
Near the end of December, SJ began to question me about what I was going to do. I said, "I don't know. But I believe GOD is going to bring work into my life." I know what an unbeliever would think about that. Even other believers have a hard time wrapping their mind around such a statement. A day or so after New Year's, I heard the Lord say the strangest thing to me. HE said, "Call in your seed." I had no idea what HE meant, but I literally said, after I heard the "word" come to me, "In the Name of Jesus, I call seed to come into my life." I also began to hear the Lord tell me to say, "I am rich and not poor." Several times over the next few days the Lord would say, "Say it." The next Wednesday, after hearing the word of the Lord, I asked my brothers and sister in Christ if they had ever heard the Lord say something to them like that because I had no idea what it meant. The woman who is the worship leader at the church said, "If you're a giver it means to call in your harvest."
On the second Sunday of January, I pulled the last of my money, four dollars, out of my wallet and put it in the offering plate. There was such a peace which filled me that I was almost giddy. After the service, I hung around to talk to a friend which I don't see often enough. I learned he was going to be moving the next day out of his parents home to take a job as a counselor at a Boys Ranch. I asked him if he needed help moving, and he told me to come on out to his house the next morning.
The next day, scraping together some change to buy gas to go to the house north of town, I left hoping I might earn a little money helping him move. I felt guilty hoping it would work out that way, but if it didn't, I wasn't going to be sorry because it might be the last opportunity I got to see him for awhile. I am so proud of him for allowing GOD to use him to minister to young men with troubled lives. Watching him pick items up and carry them to the U-haul made me feel so out of shape. I thought I was strong for my weight class, but he picked stuff up and carried it up two flights of stairs like it was no big deal. He had a lot of stuff, completely filling a large U-haul truck. His parents insisted on buying me lunch (I'm such a picky eater I prefer not eating with other people). Before I left, we all gathered around the kitchen and prayed for him. Before I could leave, his dad handed me an envelope and he said, "This is not for helping us today, we just want you to have it. When I got home, I opened the envelope and pulled out two fifty dollar bills. I love you, GOD.
One day while praying, I remember the Lord asking me how much money I needed. And I said, "Well, I need the money for my personal obligations to our home, money for Rafael (our sponsored child), my credit card payment, food including snacks, cigarettes (did I really say that?), and my tithe." GOD knows I smoke, and I'm not proud of it either. But to be honest, I've given up on quitting. I don't smoke around non-smokers, sit away from people in church because of the smell on my clothing, nor do I encourage others to do it or suggest it is okay. There is no point in lying to GOD about anything when HE already knows.
Several years ago, when I first sought the Lord after an accident, my guilt regarding my bad habit took me down the very road which brought me to the place of asking Jesus to save me. After I became born again and filled with the HOLY SPIRIT, my smoking would periodically come to mind during my prayer time. And the Lord told me not to worry about. Ever since then, I haven't. I'm not suggesting to anyone they should hold onto a bad habit, I'm simply telling you what the Lord said to me about my own addiction. HE didn't make me a smoker, and if I die because of it, it sure won't be HIS fault. HE told me a long time ago to be honest, and that is exactly what I strive to do every time the Lord gives me the opportunity to testify of the amazing things HE does and has done in my life.
The next day, after helping my friend move, I went north of town to get a carton. While I was there, I went into the bank where my wife set up and IRA for me over ten years ago. I received a letter in the mail from the bank before the IRA was set to rollover for the next eighteen month period. I also noticed they were only paying ONE HALF OF ONE PERCENT interest on the account! Apparently, they didn't need my money that bad. The next day, the bank called to tell me they hadn't given me all the papers to sign before I received the money. SJ heard the message on the answering machine. She wasn't real happy with me for doing it, and reminded me it was her money which started the account. It was started at $250 and never added to since. In ten years, it had only earned a fifth of the principle. I said, "Fine. Here is the money." She told me to "just keep it." The Lord had told me not to do it, but I didn't listen.
The next day, Wednesday, a week after the Lord told me to call in my seed, I called the bank and asked if they would fax the papers I needed to sign to the branch in my hometown. When I went into the bank to sign the papers, there was a man in the bank for whom I had cut some trees down in the past. Last year, while at the church praying alone one Wednesday afternoon, the Lord prompted me to give more than my usual offering. Before I had finished praying, I heard the words, "Expect good news." I used to give $20 dollars a paycheck to a food bank, and I would go buy the food after finishing at the church. On the day GOD told me to expect good news, I saw this same man at the store where I was going to shop for the food. He told me he had some work for me if I was interested, but was leaving to go to Texas for business and he would get in touch with me when he returned. He never did call me, but that was okay because I wouldn't have had time to do it anyway.
While at the bank, the man came up to me and asked how I was doing. I told him I no longer worked at the store. He said, "Well, I still need some work done at my home. Would you be interested?" I replied, "Would you like me to come out tomorrow?" He responded, "Just come out today, I'll be home after....". When I arrived at his home, he drove me around and showed me all the things he wanted trimmed or cut down. He said he had a thousand acres of land where he lived. Half of it was overgrown with spruce trees and several types of thorn shrubs including locust trees. I spent about three weeks cutting down trees, or crawling around a very large pasture clearing out all the stuff he wanted removed. I earned $900 by the time it was finally completed.
After it was all done, I managed to twist my knee somehow. It was quite painful for awhile, but I just kept on believing for the Lord to heal me. Never went to a doctor; just took Advil when I couldn't stand the pain. It is getting better by the day. The other day, the Lord asked me what I wanted to do. I told HIM I want to help people, but I can't figure out how to do it and still make money. HE reminded me recently not to forget what I said. I sure hope it doesn't involve dealing with the public wherever HE directs me. I've had enough of that for the rest of my life! It is so vexing to one's soul given the level of rudeness in our society, and I don't even live in a big city.
Back to waiting on the Lord because GOD is my source. And HE is still telling me, "Don't worry about it, I'll take care of you." |
