Dear Family and Friends, Christmas 2011
"DO YOU MEAN IT?"
Every year, before I begin this letter, I wonder what I should say, and whether or not it will honor GOD, or cast me in a light greater than I deserve. I certainly don't want the latter, but I have to admit to wondering if sending out this letter every year is accomplishing what I hope which is to encourage others to seek the Lord with all their heart, or take that first step into the Kingdom of GOD by asking Jesus to come into their life. I've also thought about discontinuing the letter altogether. I haven't seen or have failed to see any lasting fruit from doing so.
The Lord told me a long time ago, regarding these letters once a year, to tell others about HIM. I have sincerely tried to do so using stories which have happened to me personally each past year without trying to romanticize them or tell them in such a way as to suggest I'm some super believer. In truth, I have occasionally wondered, "GOD, what are you doing to me!?", found myself wanting to say, "but GOD, it is me", or actually having said, "but GOD, I've done such and such for YOU. Why did YOU allow that to happen to me?" I could probably give a couple of scriptures to answer these questions, but it all boils down to one thing; HE IS GOD, and I'm not.
Example. In the space of one week this past winter, a couple of incidents happened to me where I worked. The first day of my work week is a day after the biggest snow of the year has fallen. The day before, SJ buried her mother on the snowiest day of the year, having waited three weeks to do so because of the weather and finally saying, "Enough! We're going to have the funeral!" It was a very stressful time for SJ because she wanted to honor her last parent and yet have closure. She is still periodically dealing with unreasonable guilt over her mother who passed away near the end of Jan. SJ bent over backwards for ten years trying to please someone who couldn't or wouldn't see beyond themselves.
So I go into work, and within the first hour someone drives off without paying for their gas. It had been a long time since that had happened, but somewhere I got distracted. I wasn't happy because the employees have to pay for unpaid gas. Things like that have a tendency to bother me for sometime especially since I pray for honest customers every day, and I know GOD answers prayer. But the Lord had allowed it to happen.
Two days later, near the end of my shift, a young woman comes into the store to buy a pack of cigarettes. She handed me a ten and was about to walk out the the door when I called her back to give her the change. She leaves the store and drives away. Another customer who was pumping gas comes into the store to tell me that he saw a woman, who was with the woman I waited on, get out of the car they were in and take a snow shovel I had outside next to the door. I was so mad because it was MY SHOVEL! I was able to go to church that night after work to pray, but I didn't want to. I remember the HOLY SPIRIT saying to me, "I want you there."
I had been praying for a long time for GOD to release me from my job and bring another work situation into my life. Over the course of the past three years I have become so frustrated and so tired of all the situations which have come and gone at that workplace that I feel like my life has become a never ending stress mess. Undoubtedly, GOD has blessed me, but it is a constant battle to maintain my faith and continue to press on (wherever "on" is).
So I went ahead and went to church to pray, but I was just plain mad. I love GOD for so many reasons I don't know where to start, but at that moment I sure wasn't feeling it. HE just has a way of speaking to me I really can't describe. So I'm sitting on the front pew, in the dark, alone, and looking up toward the cross centered in a stain glass window wondering, "Why Lord?" And I specifically remember the Spirit of GOD saying two things to me, "Pray for revival", and "it will come back to you." I think I spent a few more minutes there, but I just got up and left.
The next day, Sunday morning, I awoke with plenty of time to go to church, but I was still mad. And I began to think of all the stuff I have gone through in the past few years which were anything but pleasant. And so I said, "No Lord, I'm not going. I'm tired and tired of it." Instead, I went to my basement to pray still struggling with what had elapsed in the previous days. And I began to wonder if it was even worth it. Somehow, I came to a place where I had to make a choice, and honestly, I wasn't real sure I wanted to go forward. Frankly, I had come to a point where I was ready to throw in the towel and say, "I quit."
Sunday night at work, the young woman who I had waited on the night before came in to get gas. I felt impressed to go out and ask her if she was aware of what her companion had done. She said she wasn't, but would check into it. I didn't know whether to believe her or not. Later in the week, I finally had to ask myself, "Am I going to throw my salvation away for a shovel?" No, Jesus means far more to me than any object I possess regardless of how much importance I give it.
On Wednesday night at church I learned a missionary had come to speak on the Sunday I said, "No, GOD." But more importantly the HOLY SPIRIT manifested with healings. Apparently, the Lord had HIS Way during the service for a change, and I missed it. Three weeks later, I walk into work, and my shovel is sitting in the back room.
That particular incident wasn't the "blown away" story I want to relate. But before I tell you about it, let me back up to the beginning of the year. As I told you last year, the Lord told me to write a book. Long story short; I didn't do it. I was constantly struggling with how GOD was going to work out all the details to bring the book to a finished state. I wrote three chapters and shelved it. In truth, I failed to set aside the time and seek the Lord to do what HE told me to do. And yes, it still bugs me.
But the Word of the Lord is true when HE says, "I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you." Last year, the HOLY SPIRIT began to do something which I didn't quite know how to receive. HE began bringing names of people to me during my times of prayer. These individuals were people I didn't make it a habit of remembering during my prayer time. But all I would hear is a name. The Lord would not reveal the reason these individuals were brought to mind.
The first time it happened was last year. So I called the individual and told them the Lord had spoke their name to me. I felt really strange calling them, but knew it was GOD when they told me about a particular situation which was troubling them. In the early part of this year, on my day off, again during my prayer time, I heard the Lord say, "(person) needs your help." I had a good idea as to what the need might be, so I threw some firewood in the back of the truck and went to their home. Before arriving, I asked the Lord what I should say when I got there. The Lord said, "Tell him I am waiting on him." I didn't know what that meant until I spoke to the person.
When I arrived at the man's home, he told me he had run out of burnable wood and had been laying in bed in a cold house. He said he wondered what he was going to do since the wood he had been sold by another individual was too big to go into the stove and too green to burn in the first place. So I unloaded the wood and we got a fire going in the stove.
He has been in bad shape, health wise, for sometime, but continues to continue. And he has memory issues, meaning, I don't think what he claims he remembers actually happened to him years ago. During the times I have spoken with him, he is all over the map. Finally, with the words the Lord told me to tell him constantly in the back of my mind, I told him I had other things to do that day and needed to leave. But before I left I told him why I had come in the first place, and I told him what the Lord had told me to tell him. Unfortunately, I don't think he received it in the way I had hoped. He wanted to argue with me about who GOD is and all kinds of other nonsense people are predisposed to believe. I said, "I don't know about that, all I know is what GOD told me to tell you." I said, "I'll see you later, and I'll make sure you have wood when you need it." And I left. I took wood over to his home at no charge several times last year. The business belongs to the Lord. Those who can buy the wood I sell it to and give GOD the money. Those which can't afford it I give at no charge.
I was thinking about the wood business in relation to something I've yet to tell, and suddenly I heard the Lord say, "It is MY wood." And I replied, "Yes, Lord." Well, that answers that.
In March, shortly after my spiritual temper tantrum, the Lord said, "In three months, I'M going to bring a thousand dollars into your life." I certainly enjoyed THAT time of prayer. Near the end of March, I was looking forward to receiving my tax return because I was getting money back as opposed to last year when I had to pay due to my employer's short sightedness. All told, I was going to receive between state and federal $572. But I was also wondering if the Lord was going to ask to me give a "Passover" offering (time does not allow me to explain this).
Just prior to actually sending in the returns to the government, I'm thinking about all the things I could finally buy which I had put off due to a lack of funds. And as I'm thinking about what to do with the money, I hear, "Will you give it ME if I ask you?" I didn't answer right away, but finally I said, "Yes, Lord, if YOU ask I will give it." And the Lord said, "I want you to send it to ......" And I thought, "That is odd. All the other times GOD has told me to send the offerings to individuals in ministry or organizations which help the poor." But this time the Lord wanted me to send it to a child we sponsor in a foreign country. Through the Grace of GOD I was able to send the money during Passover week only because the Lord apparently laid upon the heart of another couple to ask me to do some work for them in late April. My state return got hung up because of a form I failed to file which I hadn't filed in the past either, but got flagged this year.
Shortly after I had sent the money off to the child and his family, I heard the Lord say, "Unprecedented favor." By the end of April, I had forgotten about the thousand dollars. One May Sunday morning in church while praying during the Praise and Worship part of the service, I heard the Lord say, "I want you do something for ME." I had heard HIM say this to me before, but in the past it was to pray for someone or do something in particular for another individual. But not this time.
A week or so went by, and I was watching a program or thinking about the subject of forgiveness. And the HOLY SPIRIT began to convict my heart about a particular individual with whom I had issues several years before receiving the baptism of the HOLY SPIRIT. And I said, "Lord, I forgave them in my heart a long time ago." And the Lord said, "Release them from the debt." Ohhhhhhhh.
I hadn't had any contact with the individual since the mid to late '90's. We had parted ways after it became apparent that the friend had no intentions of paying back the money I had loaned him during a low point of his life. The friend undoubtedly needed the money because his wife had left him with everything including four children and a boat load of problems. I had the money and told him if he ever needed help to give me a call. He called, and I gave it with the mutual understanding he would pay it back as he was able. He never made any attempt to pay back the money.
I knew it was GOD, but I had no idea how I was going to contact him. Then I remembered that a mutual friend would periodically mention him telling me he had some type of contact with him. So on a Wednesday, I called our mutual friend which also happens to be the Pastor of a Baptist church ("poor fellow," said the pentecostal with a big smile), and I left a message on his answering machine telling him I needed a phone number for the individual the Lord wanted me to contact.
Saturday night after returning home from work and chuch, there is a message on my answering machine. It is the individual I am supposed to contact. And the message is, "(My name), this is ....., and I believe I have something I'm supposed to give you. Call me at ......." The first thing I thought was why did the Pastor contact the guy I was supposed to get in touch with?
The next morning, before I ever left the house to go to church, I felt the HOLY SPIRIT impress upon me to call the guy and tell him what the Lord had told me to say to him. So I called the number, but it went to a voice mailbox. Nervously, I said, "(Person's name) this is (me), and something wonderful happened to me a few years ago, and the Lord has told me to tell you that you do not owe me anything," and then I hung up. A few days later near the end of May, I'm about to leave the house to run an errand when I see the telephone on, but no one is talking. So I picked up the phone, and it is the past friend. We had a nice long talk. He told me he had put a check in the mail the Friday before. He also said he had accepted Jesus into his life a few years ago, and the Lord had convicted him to repay the debt.
I said, "Well, the Lord also told me to tell you, you don't owe me anything." He told me the money belonged to me, and he wanted to do the right thing. I said, "Okay." GOD did indeed bring a thousand dollars into my life because I received the money in the first week of June. And no, I didn't send the money back. But the amazing part to me was the fact that our mutual friend never contacted him at all. He had no idea I had spoken to our mutual friend to try and reach him. Now THAT WAS GOD!! In John 13:19 Jesus says, "Now I tell you before it come, that when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I AM he."
Praise the Lord! A thousand dollars! I had no more began to think about my "want" list when the HOLY SPIRIT reminded me of the second time I heard the Lord speak to me. The first time I ever heard the "voice" of the Lord, HE said, "Show them MY love." The second time HE spoke to me, HE said, "Tell them about ME." So with that refreshed in my mind I began to wonder how GOD wanted me to do what HE told me to do. It occured to me that I could tell a lot of people about Jesus by buying space in the newspaper. And the Lord confirmed the idea by saying to me, "Do what is in your heart to do."
I suspect the article was about the quickest I've ever written anything two pages is length. The title was "HE IS WAITING ON YOU" (wonder where I got that from) and the very first line read, "You're not Ninnevah, and I'm no Jonah, but I can certainly relate to the prophet's reluctance." And then I went on to tell a bit more concisely what I've already expressed to you as well as some other things. With the help of another party, I took the finished version to the newspaper office. The total cost was $220. While at the office, I realized it wouldn't come out in the paper I had hoped, but decided that was okay because I was doing what the Lord had told me to do. And I still had $780 left.
I bought a copy of the paper I was told would have the paid advertisment in it to be sure it was printed as I had instructed and have a copy for myself. The print was small, and I didn't particularly care for the placement, but it was in the Lord's Hands now. A day or so later as I'm praying I hear the words, "Finish the job." I wondered aloud, "Am I going to get to keep any of this money, Lord?" No reponse.
So I prayed and asked the Lord how I was to proceed. I said, "Lord, I don't know what to tell other people about YOU." And the Lord said, "Tell them your story." So that is what I did. From the time I first knew about GOD to the point of coming to personally know Jesus and what a screw up I had become in between. And then I told them what the Lord had impressed upon me to tell the indidvidual which needed the wood, "HE is waiting on you to ask HIM to come into your life and live like you mean it." Four hundred and twenty dollars for a full page article in the paper where I should have had it placed in the first time. I ended up with about $280 left. My "want" list didn't budge an inch, but I felt like my heart was right with GOD.
For the last two years, I was also hearing the word "changes". The place where I worked had finally broke ground for a new store in March. The new store opened on Oct. seventh. For five consecutive weeks it was busy EVERY day I had to work. From the time it opened til the present, I haven't gone to church after work or gone on Sundays. Officially, I clocked out when I was scheduled to do so. Unofficially, I continued to work in the store after close for two to two and a half hours (three days a week) past the time I clocked out just to clean the place up and get it ready for the following day.
As I said earlier, I had been praying for sometime for the Lord to open the door for a new work assignment. And every time I prayed for a new job, the Lord would say, "You'll know when it is time." About three years ago, the Lord warned me to "watch my mouth". Shortly thereafter, I told a woman one night if she didn't like the "creepiness" she felt around some men, it would be in her best interest to dress more conservatively. Unfortunately, I wasn't as diplomatic about it when I told her, but bluntly told her she "stuck out". When she asked what I meant, I pointed toward her chest. She didn't take kindly to the criticism which I honestly meant for her good. However, she did get so mad about it that she tried to get me fired.
During the "counseling" by my supervisor, it was also pointed out to me that the company didn't like the fact that I was handing out to customers the personal testimony tract I had printed for the explicit purpose of telling others about Jesus. They told me to stop doing it while I was working at the store, and I conceeded to do so. But it never failed to bother me to the point of wondering if I hadn't chosen my job over Jesus.
When it became apparent the company where I worked wasn't going to hire any additional help at a store twice the size of the last, and apparent that I wasn't going to have the opportunity to go to church because I was so tired from the night before, I decided that was the "last straw". I felt like I was at a crossroad again, but it was still the same question: my job or Jesus? I sent my letter of intent to vacate my position on October 25th. December second was my last day on the job.
All the time I was wondering if I had made the right choice. And every time the Lord was constantly telling me, "It is time to go, I'LL take care of you, you're one of MINE, it is going to work out, it was the right thing to do."
So some of you are no doubt wondering what I was asked by others many times over, "what am I going to do now?" I'll tell you what I told many of them, "I don't know, but I'm not going to worry about it." Some wished me luck, and I replied, "I don't need luck, I'm blessed." But before I left, I started handing out the tracts again, although; more precisely. I told SJ last September during the transition period from the old store to the new one that I was going to consider other "career" options once the house was paid off. Two weeks after giving more than a month's notice, SJ sent a check to the mortgage company for the remainder of the note. "Unprecedented favor".
Because I will also be posting this online, I'd like to say to all skeptics out there; DO YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS NOW!! I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WHEN I DIE; DO YOU? You're not going to like hell, but there are two ways to learn; the easy way or the hard way. It really is your choice.
Jesus wants to give you everything HE has given me and more but you have to ask HIM to come into your life and seek HIM because you mean it. I don't get anything from anyone for sharing all the Lord has done for me, and yet I'm blessed. As I've said in the past and I'll say again, if you don't know whether to believe what I've told you is true, ask Jesus to reveal HIMSELF to you in a way you will have no doubt it is HIM. I know HE will if you sincerely mean it. HE did it for me, and the Lord is no respector of persons.
I heard a great testimony from a brother in Christ the other day as we were having lunch which he heard from the person who shared it. He is a musician and meets with other Christian artists from all types of medium: writers, painters, musicians, etc. They were discussing "Apologetics"(?) when one man in the group began waiving his hands in front of him and said, "I don't know about any of that. All I know is I was in the back of an ambulance knowing I was about to die of a heart attack when I asked GOD if HE was real to save my life so I could take care of my kids." The brother said the man said in his own words he had been an atheist his whole life and as he put it, "a real scumbag". The brother said that the man went on to say that the Lord appeared to him and saved his life. Because of Jesus, the only begotten Son of GOD, we have life, both in this world and the next.
Because this may be the last time I share with you what the Lord has done for me, I'd like to mention three individual ministries which have really sown the Word and Works of the Lord into my life: Aquilla Nash, "THE PROPHETIC WHISPER", on TBN, Andrew Womack, "THE GOSPEL TRUTH", TBN and Daystar, and Sid Roth, "ITS SUPERNATURAL", Daystar. These are the ministries I have personally been blessed by watching.
In the Name of Jesus
To GOD be the Glory,
Mike Baruth
Before I bring this year's letter to a close, there is something I've been wanting to talk about for a long time. It is regarding John 3:16, "For GOD so loved the world that HE gave HIS only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in HIM should not perish but have everlasting life." I could write at length on this verse, but I want to explain a part of the verse I wonder if most people actually understand. And the part is, "that whosoever believeth in HIM".
I believe most people believe in GOD even if they wouldn't go so far as to admit it. But what the majority of the unsaved and even some of the "supposedly saved" believe is Jesus is one of many paths to heaven, even suggesting to the point that if there is no god, so what, and if there is a god, it will save them no matter what. And those beliefs simply aren't true.
Let me illustrate. I believe our current president is real; obviously he is. But I don't believe IN him. I don't believe in his policies, his political leanings, and quite frankly, I wonder about his personal beliefs. I feel pretty much the same about the GOP as well. Not to get off the subject, but I pray before I vote. Whatever name the Lord speaks to me is who I vote for regardless of what I know about the person.
Faith in Christ Jesus isn't based solely upon the basis of HIS GOD appointed soverienty because every believer has settled that particular question. Nor is it based upon the fact that a person has had some divine appointment with the Lord. I know for a fact GOD intervened in the circumstances of my life many times before I ever came to the point of asking Jesus to save me. A person will never come to that point until they actually believe IN Jesus.
The one thing so many people fail to realize is a person actually has to do what Jesus has told them to do even when it makes absolutely no sense in the natural. And I don't know how a person can do that without having an ongoing, everyday relationship with Jesus...."HE walks with me and talks with me along life's narrow way." You HAVE to pray, you HAVE to read your Bible, but more importantly, you HAVE to BELIEVE IN HIM. In other words, you have to trust HIM to take care of you no matter what life brings. And once, by the Grace of GOD, you've given "permission" to Jesus to be LORD of your life, ceeding your choices to HIM, HE WILL BLESS YOU not only with the things you have need of, but also a LOVE not only for HIM (because of HIM), but also an identifiable ability to give a damn not only for yourself but others as well.
Jesus said, "Go into all the world and make desciples of all men (and women)." HE did not say, "Go into all the world and make converts." Converts are, more often than not, half hearted carnal Christians who have yet to trust GOD, through the Lord Jesus Christ, with every aspect of their life. You can't tell carnal Christians from the unsaved because what they say and what they actually do or how they choose to live doesn't look any different from those who don't believe at all. If you think for one minute I had no desire to keep all the money the Lord has blessed me with since HE saved my life, you're mistaken. By this countries standard of life, I'm lower middle class. Yes, I would have liked to keep the money, but by faith I've chosen to trust GOD with the hope that others will come to KNOW Jesus, not just know about Jesus. The choice really is your's to make; HE is waiting on you. Will you mean it?
I'm sorry, to a point, if you've receieved this letter and I've inadvertantly offended you. I don't talk about children, or new things, or adventures because they're simply not important to me. I talk about Jesus because HE told me to, and because HE is all I know or ultimately care about. My family doesn't understand it (I'm guessing), my wife doesn't understand it, even some of the people I attend church with don't understand it. And I admit, I sometimes don't understand it. But once you know that you know and have received confirmation of GOD's love for you through Jesus, you WILL understand it. I really hope you'll say "yes" to Jesus when HE gives you the opportunity. Everyday with the Lord is an adventure I absolutely wouldn't trade for the life I had without HIM. |
