Christmas Letter '09 (re-write)
Dear Family and friends, Christmas Letter ‘09
“Why Do You Do It”
At this time every year, as you know from years past, I try to get a letter written prior to Christmas to send with or perhaps without a Christmas card. If one were to be surprised by the one thing which has driven my life for the past five years, it is because this is my first Christmas letter to you, or you, putting it kindly, have forgotten. And that ONE thing is Jesus.
Knowing I was going to be writing this at some point, I asked the Lord what HE wanted me to relate through this year’s letter. And the Lord said, “Tell them about ME; tell them who I AM.” Just like years past. But I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure how to do that. I mean, I know who HE is because of the way HE has interacted with me, but I don’t know how to tell you who HE is mostly because I realize you have to take at face value what I will relate to you is true. And that doesn’t really bother me because I know some of you know who HE is by HIS witness of the Holy Spirit to you. It is those of you who don’t know HIM which gives me pause to wonder how I’m going to effectively relate HIM to you by HIS standard. By what I hope will be the leading of the Spirit of God, I will try to do what HE told me to do; tell you who HE is.
HE is my Guardian.
At the end of January, Eureka suffered a major ice storm. I wonder why they call it an “ice storm”? It wasn’t like huge chunks of ice fell out of the sky. Maybe “hail storm” was already taken so it has to be called something. If I remember correctly, the storm started on a Monday night and ended on a Tuesday. Anyway, we got a bunch of rain which froze to everything. First, limbs started breaking due to the increased weight of the frozen moisture clinging to them, and then the power went out all over the area. I was so thankful I have a chainsaw, we had candles, a fireplace, and a gas stove. There were a whole lot of people who didn’t have those things, not to mention heat. We were also blessed by being without power for only 36 hours. There were a whole lot of people who had no power for over a week and some for more than two weeks. Even worse, most people couldn’t go anywhere because of all the fallen tree limbs blocking the roads. We somehow managed to tuff out our time in the dark. I did what I could outside during the day clearing the driveway and a walking path around the house so I could walk “Sir Barksalot”, and SJ suddenly got the urge to do all sorts of baking. Between the two of us, we managed to keep the fire going in the fireplace. It was almost surreal. Every few minutes we would hear another limb breaking away from a tree and hitting the ground. Some would be in the distance, and some sounded like they were right outside our doorstep. The cracking of limbs or huge trees falling were the only sounds one would hear during the power outage when we were both inside the house. The snapping, cracking, and falling went on for two solid days and nights.
When it became clear what was in the process of happening once the power went out and the rain had yet to stop, I prayed. I prayed the blood of Jesus over our home and over our vehicles. Of all the limbs which fell from trees closest to the house, only one large limb grazed the front side of the house, putting a three inch gash in the siding. We had a property strewn with fallen limbs, yet only the one did anything which could be considered damaging. Both vehicles parked under trees never got a scratch. During the whole ordeal, I tried to remember to thank God for HIS protection. So many are the times I heard the Spirit of the Lord say to me in this past year, “I take care of MY own.”
On Wednesday afternoon while standing at the door and staring at all the limbs laying around the yard, I heard the Lord say to me, “What do you see?” I replied, “I see chaos, Lord.” Immediately the Lord countered, “I see opportunity.” I had no idea what HE meant. As it turned out, a whole lot of people went to work cleaning up the mess which brought life into town during a really slow time of year. It also caused people to reach out to one another for the common good. People in town pulled together and helped each other out. The Sunday morning service, the church still without power, was lit only with candles. It was one of the best services I had attended since going to that church.
HE is my Counselor.
Shortly after the clean-up was finished as far as I was concerned, the Lord began repeating the word “changes” to me during my prayer time. And, I continued to hear the words, “give it up”. Again, I had no idea what HE meant. In ’08, the Lord impressed upon me to give HIM a day. A day to lay aside all work to rest or spend quality time with HIM. So, around August or so, I began committing Wednesday to the Lord. I can honestly say since I started doing what HE instructed me to do, I haven’t honored the Lord like I expect HE deserves to be honored. But I do not do any type of work for which I expect to be paid or take pleasure in like working outside at home. There have been some Wednesdays which I had to work at the store, so I would set aside Thursday instead.
However, laying aside a day for the Lord did not cause my work load to diminish regarding the yard work on my days off. So, the Lord impressed upon me to ask a certain young man to help me. He gets a disability check, but has a lot of time on his hands. He has also shown an interest in the Lord. To make a long story short, it didn’t work out. I suspect the young man’s motives weren’t entirely genuine. I’m sure he has had a God encounter at some point in his life, but he has allowed the world to hook him into seeking the Lord for means other than what God expects of one when the first commandment is “To love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul.” The young man’s mouth said one thing while his actions and attitude expressed the opposite. While I never got a disability check, nor do I mean to judge those who do, I do know I’ve had a few encounters with God in my early years which invited me to turn from my own lusts of the flesh and give my life to HIM. Yet, every time I did, I eventually fell back into sin for one reason or another. This young man’s current state of life and my own from years ago hit too close to home. I honestly feel after trying to encourage him to help me with the yard work and subsequently getting so frustrated with his attitude that I’d only ask him to help me if I was desperate, I failed God. I also can’t help but wonder if the Lord was trying to teach me something more than trying to help the young man. I really hope I don’t have to walk around that mountain again any time soon.
It was shortly after I had prayed and gotten peace over not using the young man in the future that I started hearing the words “give it up”. I heard that phrase three or four times until I finally decided it was the Spirit of the Lord. But I wasn’t all that willing to just let go of it. I reminded God that I was giving HIM fifty percent of the gross before expenses. Surely, HE could see what a valuable asset I was to HIS Kingdom. Never mind that my seeking, and confessing, and witnessing and…., had suffered because of the work I was doing on the side. Yet still I heard, “give it up.” So in May after praying about it for sometime, I made the decision to stop doing the yard work. In June, I began letting those for whom I did such work know ‘09 was going to be my last year. When the Lord also said, “changes,” I finally began to understand what HE was referring to. As it turned out, of the twelve or thirteen yards I mowed or did other yard work for, only three or four customers were told of my intentions. All the rest went by the wayside for one reason or another. Of course, the Lord again instructed me on what I was to give HIM for ‘09 and how much; one hundred percent. You know, HE blessed me so much this year that I never missed the money I earned for any type of outside work for someone else. “Give, and it is given…..”
God’s Word says HE knows the end from the beginning of all things. Late last year, the spouse of a couple for whom I did mowing asked me if I would like a lawnmower the one wanted to get rid of. I have to admit I wondered why the person would want to give it to me. I had a perfectly good mower although it was showing the signs of a lot of use. But the other spouse didn’t want to part with it. So I told the one who offered it to me that I would talk to them another time, and if the one still wanted to part with it I would pick it up then. I didn’t want to except something where a conflict existed. As it turned out, I was given the mower. It was in really good shape. I asked a friend of mine to look it over and sharpen the blade. He confirmed the mower was in excellent condition.
One late spring afternoon, I went to the home of one of my customers to mow their yard. I unloaded my lawnmower behind my truck. I had the dog with me and was going to take him over to a neighbor just across the road so he could have another dog to play with. El Barko doesn’t get many opportunities to interact with other dogs. I got in the truck, put it in reverse, and ran over the lawnmower! OH……! I actually managed to pry enough here and there to get it to work, but that poor lawnmower was never the same after that. The Lord knew what was coming long before I ever had the need.
HE is my Comforter
One particular Wednesday, on my way back from a bi-monthly donation, the Spirit of the Lord came to me. I’ve had several of these types of encounters with the Holy Spirit. It isn’t the same as just hearing HIM. It is similar to what happened that wonderful May day in ’04, except instead of immeasurable joy, I’ll start weeping. It may be a song on the radio, something I happen to be watching, a prayer session, or simply thinking about the Lord when HE comes. I never know when the Holy Spirit will just show up. It is if the Lord moves upon me. I believe it is the “witness” of the Holy Spirit.
And I distinctly heard the Spirit of the Lord say to my spirit, “Why do you do it?” When this happens to a person, he or she can’t lie. And I said, “Because I don’t love them without discrimination as I know you do. I give it to them Lord, knowing they don’t judge the need, but simply desire to fill it in YOUR Name.” It made me more aware that as much as I desired to serve the Lord, I didn’t show HIS love to others as perfectly as HE does. I also realized how much I was guilty of condemning unbelievers or believers who may not be where I am in my relationship with God through HIS Son Jesus. When the Lord first made me aware of HIS Presence HE not only made me aware of my own unworthiness for eternal life based upon what I did or didn’t do in my life, HE also made me aware of HIS love and acceptance of me in spite of my unworthiness. That is what the Gospel of Jesus Christ is, recognizing one’s own failure to live up to the law of God, and God’s love towards us so much that through the sacrifice of HIS Son on our behalf, we have the opportunity to accept Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf. However, one must first admit to God they have sinned against HIM and those HE loves before they can accept HIS gift of forgiveness and grace through the blood of Jesus at the cross. Once that happens, we not only are forgiven, but accepted in the eyes of our Heavenly Father; not by our works, but by the work of Jesus (John 3:16).
Yet, while knowing this basic doctrine of truth, I had forgotten that I was now responsible for not only coming into agreement with the leading of HIS Spirit, but treating others the way the Lord had treated me after I knew I was saved. Whether outwardly or inadvertently, I had failed to consistently show God’s love to others the same way HE had shown me HIS love regardless of how I was treated by others or by what thinking they chose to lead their lives in agreement or contrary to the Word of God. I not only started to notice how much I was guilty of condemnation, but so many types of condemnation coming from the “church”. It isn’t my job as a servant of the Lord to try to change the thinking of those with whom I disagree. I’m expected by the Lord to treat everyone, regardless of the details, like HE treated me, and when given the opportunity, to tell others about the HIM. Jesus is the answer, not me.
Why do I do it? Because Jesus did it for me, HE made me to know HIS love, and HE wants me to do for others what HE did for me short of making it all possible to begin with. And though I may never fulfill HIS Will perfectly, HE still expects me to try. The surety is: “I take care of MY own,” “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” “You will be with ME where I AM.”
After I let the last yard go, the Lord said, “A new season.” When I inquired of the Lord as to what I was going to do now, HE said, “Feed MY children.” I was standing in my basement about to go out the door, and the Lord said, “I want you to give ME an increase above your tithe.” I just leaned my head against the cinder block and wondered how I was going to be able to fulfill HIS instruction. Well, so far I’ve had no problem, although I admit I wonder what is yet to come. I’m sure the Lord will continue to surprise me as long as I continue to trust HIM. I wasn’t exactly sure what HE meant by “feed MY children.” So I prayed about it. HE showed me two prayer visions. In the first I saw a small child holding the Lord’s hand while walking away from me. In the second, I saw several small children standing around the Lord. I believe what HE told me is exactly what the Lord wants me to do.
HE is my Healer
I have been a person who eats a lot of snacks for quite a bit of my life. But I noticed my teeth would bother me from time to time. Last year, the Lord told me to stop eating cookies. I said, “Lord, what can I have to snack on?” HE said, “Chips and crackers.” I did it for awhile, but every once in awhile I’d buy some cookies. My teeth would start bothering me again. It didn’t take long to get the message. However, when the Lord told me to stop drinking coca-cola this year, I was a little more resistant. Then my teeth started to bother me again. So I stopped. One fall afternoon, coming back from a wood delivery, I stopped to get a coke. I told myself since I was giving the proceeds from the wood to the Lord surely it would be okay to get a coke. That night, a tooth in the back of my mouth started to hurt. I couldn’t chew anything without it sending a stabbing pain into my jaw. So I prayed. And the Lord said, “I told you to stop drinking coke.” I said, “Lord, please forgive me. I want to repent of my sin of resisting YOUR Will.” The Lord said, “Touch your tooth and speak MY Name.” So I stuck my finger in my mouth to touch my tooth and said, “I give this tooth to the Lord in the Name of Jesus. I command you in the Name of Jesus to stop hurting and be healed.”
But the tooth continued to bother me. I said, “Lord, it still hurts.” And the Lord replied, “Do you believe in ME?” I said, “Yes, Lord, I believe in YOU.” HE then said, “Pray again; speak MY Name.” This time, I put my finger against the tooth and said, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” I concentrated on HIS Name and on who HE is as I spoke HIS Name. I pulled my finger out of my mouth, and the pain was not as intense as before. The Lord then said, “It will pass.” Within two days, the tooth stopped hurting completely.
I hate to admit it, but I can be hard-headed about some things. A couple of weeks ago, having drank all the tea I brought with me on the half day I work at the store, I filled a glass with about five ounces of coke from the fountain. My half shift was almost over, I just wanted a little something to sip on before leaving. Soon after, I clocked out and went home, taking the drink with me. As soon as I got home, I grabbed three oatmeal cookies and sat down. Fifteen minutes later, I started to get heartburn. I rarely get heart-burn any more. And I heard the Lord say, “Michael, I’m not going to give you and endless supply of chances to heed MY Word. STOP DRINKING COKE.” I said, “Yes, Lord. Lord, I’m sorry. I don’t want to be disobedient. Please forgive me in the Name of Jesus.” I took a Pepcid AC and the heartburn subsided. I haven’t touched a coke since then.
I’ve prayed for my back, my legs, and my teeth all in the Name of Jesus by the Word of the Lord unto me. The pain went away in all of them when the Lord instructed me to pray about them. Several times HE has said, “It will pass.”
HE is faithful to HIS Word.
It is very rare that I will ask something of another to meet a particular need in my life. I know most of you have heard these verses, “Ask and you will receive” (Matt. 7), and “You have not because you ask not” (James 4). I believe both these verses refer to asking of the Lord God; not other people. Last August, I noticed my brakes on the truck beginning to feel soft when I would step on the brake pedal. I said, “Lord, I need to get these brakes fixed.” And the Lord said, “I will take care of it.” Now, I could have used any number of means to have the brakes fixed. I could have used a credit card (I hate the thing), borrowed the money from savings, or Lord forbid, used tithe money. In the last five years, I have never failed to give the Lord the first ten percent of my income. But faith without works is dead. One must make up their mind they are going to trust the Word of the Lord when HE tells a person something. So I continued to trust God He would meet the need. Five or six weeks went by. In mid September, I worked some over-time which gave me an increase in my paycheck. I also received a check for a specific amount which amounted to twice as much as I had originally charged a person to clean-up and haul off leaves and limbs which had accumulated over a few years. The person was so happy with the work, they gave me twice what I asked for. The Lord had provided the money to fix the brakes. I’ve seen God’s Word to me come to pass so many times in the past five years I’ve lost track of the number. When I had the brakes repaired, they were at the point just before the brakes would have started to eat into the drums. Praise the Lord they didn’t need to be turned! The whole job cost only two hundred seventy dollars.
HE is my Saviour.
Everyday since May 9th, 2004, the first thing I think about when I awake is Jesus, and the last thing I think about is Jesus. All day long, I think about HIM, I talk to HIM, I desire to be with HIM. And yet, there have been so many times I feel like I have failed HIM. One day, when I was feeling pretty good about all my giving to the Lord, the Lord said the following to me. HE said, “Michael, all the things you’ve done or all the things you ever will do for MY Name’s sake will never come close to what I did for you at the cross when I gave MY life for you. All I ask is that you believe in ME.”
During those times when an incident in one form or another of a negative nature comes to pass against me, or a temptation overwhelms me, I will usually feel like just giving up. And the Spirit of the Lord will quietly say, “Give it to ME.” One time the Lord said, “You do not understand love.” Kudos to anyone who has never questioned their own salvation by and through the Lord Jesus Christ. I pray, more often than not, the Lord will keep me in touch with HIM. HE has yet to fail me in that respect.
I wanted, at some point in this letter, to tell you about some truly supernatural experiences which happened to me after May in ‘04, but the Lord told me to tell you about HIM; tell you who HE is. I honestly hope I have done so, not because of what you might think of me (good or bad), but because of what HE desires you personally know about HIM.
In 2006, HE told me HE was coming back soon. I was so sure I wasn’t going to see the end of ‘06, I wrote a letter to be given to SJ regarding my wishes and things she needed to know upon my passing. Obviously, I’m still here. Last year the Lord said, “I’m not coming back as soon as you think. There are more people I want to bring into MY Kingdom.”
This letter is being sent not only to those with whom I have family ties, or people who have known me for quite sometime. It is also going to some people the Lord has used to bless me this past year. I want everyone of you to know HIM and who HE is, not for the sake of how good you have been to me, but because of how much HE truly loves you.
I know God cares about everything about you, but what your socioeconomic standing in the world is doesn’t matter to HIM because HE loves everyone HE has created. However, as much as HE loves everyone (For God so loved the world…), HE is not going to ignore anyone’s failure to accept the only way HE made available to all men by which they must be saved (…that HE gave HIS only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in HIM should not perish, but have everlasting life). The Lord God, the Only God, wants you to be with HIM for eternity, but you must know HIS Son, Jesus. You must humble yourself before HIM, honestly and sincerely ask by the blood of Jesus for HIS forgiveness of all your own misdeeds, whether in thought or deed, and daily desire to seek HIS will in your life. Otherwise, no matter who you are, the closest you’ll ever get to heaven is in the here and now. I beg you, don’t lean on what you think, or what you believe “good enough” to be because no one is good enough in the eyes of God (All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.)
The Acts 2:21 “And it shall come to pass that whosoever shall call upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved.” You have to believe in HIM (John 3:16) to call upon HIM. If you don’t know HIM, or if you don’t know what to believe, ask God to reveal HIMSELF to you in a way you will know it is HIM. I know HE will. The one thing which convinces me the Lord Jesus Christ is God, other than the day HE revealed HIS love to me in 2004, is all of the verifiable people who have been healed in the Name of Jesus which modern medicine has no cures for. They are countless.
I pray I have done as the Lord has instructed me, and the Spirit of God will move upon you that you may know what is that good and perfect peace in the Name of Jesus.
Because HE first loved me,
Mike
I know it is hard to comprehend, but there is only one thing I truly desire; to be with Jesus where HE is. |
