PURE, PEACEABLE, GENTLE, EASILY ENTREATED
The Easy Way and The Hard Way
This passage of scripture, James 3:17, has been periodically brought as a reminder to my own spirit when communicating with others. The Lord has frequently led me to read the third chapter of James over the course of the last few months. Last year, sometime during the month of October, the Holy Spirit, in a strong tone of exhortation, said, "Watch your mouth."
When I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, a number of things immediately changed not only in the way I suddenly wanted to live, but also in my demeanor when dealing with other people, not the least of which was with my spouse, SJ. I suddenly lost the desire for physical intimacy. She eventually asked me what was wrong, and truthfully I stated, "Nothing." I told her I could not justify having such a relationship with her because I felt guilty before God. I'm not suggesting this is what everyone should do. The Word of God is clear on this subject, but I want to have a relationship with SJ which is based solely on being faithful not only to God, but her also without being manipulated by the lust of my own flesh. SJ and I have had a relationship without sexual contact for the last three years. And no, it is not always easy, especially given the number of women I have to deal with beyond the safety of our front door. I want to be able to truly care about the well being of the woman I married without the temptation of sexual exploitation, even if it happens to be solely between she and I.
Another change which happened was far more wonderful. I immediately began to feel that no matter what, God was going to take care of me. I first took notice of this fact when I told my former employer, after being chastised for my work habits and pointedly asking him if I was fired, that no matter what happed with regard to the state of my employment, I knew God was going to take care of me. A certain boldness without the fear of a future unknown. I walked away from a job I had for fourteen and half years (thirteen years and nine months of which was with the man who sold the business to him) six weeks later. Even though I worked less hours and made less money, somehow I knew I was where God wanted me to be. Over the course of the next year, God met every financial commitment I needed to make even though I was making less money, and I was tithing faithfully on every penny I did make! Eventually, more hours were added to my employment schedule along with raises and company based bonuses.
When I first started my new job, I noticed something which wasn't a part of my personality for the greater part of my life. I acted kindly and spoke nicely to the customers which I had to deal with on a daily basis at my new job. Strangely, I got along with almost everyone, and those I didn't, did not affect me to the point of dwelling on the matter. Not only was I able to effectively communicate with those I had to deal with, but I was also able to witness to others about how wonderful my life had become when God blessed me with the anointing of His love.
That was then, this is now. I began to notice early in 2007 the fire of God's Holy Spirit diminishing within me. I didn't really pay to much attention to it because I still had what I believed to be an acceptable desire to serve and seek the Lord continuously. Yet ever so slowly, the things I did on a daily basis began to become less important in my walk with the Lord. I didn't read my bible as much, I wasn't earnestly seeking the revelation knowledge which brings (though, to this day, I don't know how) greater spiritual maturity, I wasn't confessing the Word of God out loud throughout the day, and I wasn't being vigilant in keeping myself away from things which could corrupt my spirit (i.e. certain types of television programs, gossip, financial concerns, church based relationships). I had allowed myself to become lazy. To date, I realize I had failed to put God first in every aspect of my life. I had failed to do what God told me to do.
"Watch your mouth" has a two fold meaning. One is obvious, shut up. But the other is a warning to show one what will happen if one does not do the first. In other words, "calling things which are not as though they are" will eventually happen when one speaks unrighteousness continually just like it will happen when one does the opposite. I had had a taste of it prior to October of 2007, but the Lord forgave me for the transgressions once I realized I had done wrongly either by speaking out loud without anyone hearing, or speaking to someone and repenting for it to the person I had offended. But for some reason, I just couldn't stop yielding to the temptation to speak guile about other people even as harmless as it seemed at the time. The Holy Spirit was constantly telling me to just be quiet, but yet I continually failed to do so.
The "fruit" of that warning came crashing down upon me after a discussion I had with a women younger than me. One night, she came in to buy some items before going to her home. In the space of the transaction, we began to speak about an incident which had happened in our community a few months prior. She made mention of the fact that she had to hire the services of one of the lawyers which is currently representing a person involved in the afore mentioned incident (I can't speak about it because guess who got called for jury duty regarding the incident!). She stated that the lawyer, a man, gave her an uneasy feeling. Without giving thought to what I was about to say, I stated without trying to be critical, "Well, you kind of stick out." Apparently, she didn't know what I was referring to, so as kindly as I could I said, "your upper body."
Now remember, I'm celibate. But what you don't know is this particular young woman has been involved in a lesbian relationship for as long as I have known her which has been several years. Within seconds of the words leaving my mouth, her countenance changed. To make a long story shorter, she came in the store in a good mood, but she sure didn't leave the store that way. She abruptly picked up her purchased items and left looking like someone who was being inundated with cold shivers running up and down her back. I watched her leave the store wondering, "what just happened?"
She was nooooot happy. What I had hoped she would take to heart in a good way, she was apparently offended by. You see, I knew, because of past dealings with her that she would, on occasion, dress in a very provocative manner. (I want to stop right here for a minute to say something to women. If you think dressing in a manner which accentuates your upper and lower body is going to attract people with whom you can interact who will simply desire to be with you based on your personality and intelligence, or your faith, you are at the very least naive and on the opposite side of the spectrum, a disingenuous liar.) I had hoped, trying to kindly share this criticism with her, she would give more thought to how she dressed when going out in public. Apparently, that went right over her head. But, I didn't think much more about it.
Until she came in the store about five weeks later in a haughty mood by herself. I didn't even recognize her until she came to pay for the items she wanted to purchase. I spoke to her just like I would speak to anyone else. She, on the other hand, had come in with an agenda. She came in expecting me to apologize for my comments to her five weeks after the fact. I told her: a.) I never made mention to anyone about wanting to apologize to her because, b.) I didn't feel I owed her an apology. She went ballistic. Unfortunately, the two other people in the store looked at her like she was a lunatic. I tried to be nice to her right up until she said, "And I thought you were supposed to be a Christian!" She found the button she could push to send me over the "I've had it with you" edge.
For some reason, when I'm about to get mad, I feel this tingling sensation in my head. I think it is the Holy Spirit telling me to back down, but this night I pushed the Holy Spirit aside (Lord God, please forgive me), and I let her have it with both barrels. Self righteous judgment was going to explode. Looking her right in the eyes, I said, "Come on (speaking her name), tell me what a Christian is. Tell me. Come on tell me what one is?!" She didn't know, and I knew it. Before leaving the store, she loudly recommended the other two guys should no longer shop in the store. One of the guys just laughed and the other one didn't know what to say since both of them had come in after she and I were on the verge of having a mutual disgust-"sion" with one another.
While I didn't believe I had wronged her initially, I knew there was no question I had done so now. I told my manager about it, and he didn't say anything. She on the other hand was going to get satisfaction one way or another so she called my employer. Five weeks later, I was told by the head supervisor, "You ARE going to apologize to her. You're NOT going to hand out any more tracts, you're NOT going to pray for anyone in the store, or you're NOT going to be here any longer." I said okay.
Two weeks later she came back into the store, and I told her the truth. I never meant to offend her, but I was sorry that I had. I tried to be genuine, but I admit it was rather half hearted because I had never intended to offend her in the first place. Of course she had to get one last dig in and said, "You do not speak to a lady like that." I was glad she left thereafter because I could feel myself wanting to laugh when I began to think that not only does she not know what a Christian is, neither does she know what a lady is either.
The Holy Spirit warned me long before the incident with the young woman ever came to pass. I heard, but I didn't listen. I had sown, and boy did I ever reap. I knew I had to turn the situation around, but I still couldn't keep my mouth shut. My mouth was salivating at the ding of every temptation to speak. While I've yet to get victory over what I know to be a problem, I have found that singing in tongues helps. When I'm singing, I'm not thinking. If I ignore the majority of what others may be talking about, I'm less likely to chime in with my opinion. I'm not the only one, unfortunately, with a periodic inability to choose my words carefully. I've seen this very problem manifest itself on message boards, or in the interactions of others, or even from the pulpit of the local church.
Now, almost nine months after being chastised by the head supervisor and subsequent apology, lame as it was, things are beginning to turn around. I've been praying for the young woman for almost a year since the very first incident. She doesn't dress provocatively any more. And while we're still both very much aware of being careful around one another when she comes into the store, I try not to treat her any differently than I would anyone else. I am, however, considering taking a pair of earplugs to church with me.
Which leads me to one more sub-theme before I wind this up. For about two years now I've been wondering what the gospel of Jesus Christ really is. Oh, I know the pat answer, but that doesn't even begin to tell the real truth. You see, there seems to be this pervasive spirit, subtle as it is, where believers not only condemn unbelievers (which is wrong), but even one another over a variety of issues. If the Gospel of Jesus sets people free, than a critical, condemning spirit is totally contradictory to the message of Christ. In other words, there is something wrong with this picture. Most recently, one person felt so strongly about their position based on their understanding of the "meat" of the Word of God that they have steadfastly failed to grasp the very "milk" of the Word (Matt. 7:1). Now I know that person doesn't know what they're talking about, and yet they're so convinced that they do, they've left off wisdom and plunged head long into carnality, speaking based upon the flesh rather than the Spirit.
After initially reading the message posted to me and being offended by it (first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated), I distinctly heard the Holy Spirit say, "Don't say anything." But again, that tingling feeling having begun in my head, I just had to say something. So, just as one would place their middle finger under their thumb and let it spring forth on another person's nose, I in as much told that person to prove to me they believed Jesus Christ had come in the flesh and what transpired thereafter. I didn't do anything which should have garnered such a response by that person in the first place, but ignoring the Holy Spirit, I let that person know in no uncertain terms neither had it gone unnoticed. I generally ignore an unbeliever's vehemence, but a believers unkind remark cuts deep.
The next day, the remark still fresh in my mind, my prayer time was tainted. Yet I still heard from the Lord and He said, "(the person) is not your problem, (the person) is Mine." Then during my bible time, the Lord impressed upon me to read Matt. chapter seven. I already knew one side of the "judge not" passage, but it didn't dawn on me til later that I could be just as guilty of judging the person judging me. A long time ago, I realized there were two ways to learn, the easy way and the hard way. I theorized that although one could learn the easy way, one wouldn't really learn why one should or shouldn't do something unless they had learned the hard way. Having said that, once one gets filled with the Holy Spirit, it is the Holy Spirit's job to do in a person what God wants them to become once that person realizes, without the work of Jesus at the cross, he or she literally doesn't stand a chance in hell of going to heaven and having everlasting life. But if one has to learn the hard way, even having the been blessed with the infilling of the Holy Spirit, it is absolutely going to be a hard way. Learning to cooperate with the Holy Spirit by listening and doing what the Holy Spirit tells one to do doesn't necessarily make changing from one lifestyle to another easy, it just makes it easier. That fact has become painfully obvious in my own life with regard to my mouth.
This then led me to wonder if it was actually possible to lose one's salvation if one was unable to overcome any particular obstacle even if one continued not to heed the leading of the Holy Spirit. Could one still bear the fruit of righteousness which is the obvious sign one has been filled with the Spirit of Christ, although they were unable to consistently "love not only in word, but in deed and in truth". And the answer is....I don't know. I think one can lose their salvation even knowing by experience Jesus Christ is the only begotten Son of God, did come to earth as a man, did die on the cross bearing the sins of the world upon Himself thereby paying the price for all sin (with the exception of one) and was raised from the dead. How? By allowing unforgiveness to dominate their motives and their actions towards others. One of the most powerful works Jesus accomplished at the cross was by allowing Himself to take upon Himself the very wrath of God against the sins of those committed against God and against one another. Jesus literally wiped the slate clean. Yet, one the most powerful scriptures in the Bible is what Jesus said in the book of John (I'm guessing chapter 8). Jesus said, "He that keepeth my sayings and doeth them, he it is that loveth Me."
Jesus stated very clearly that if one does not forgive another regardless of the nature of the offense or length thereof, neither will God forgive you of your sins against others no matter how trivial they may seem compared to what someone else has done to you. If God doesn't forgive one of their sins even after Jesus has paid the price for all sin against God or man due to unforgiveness, you won't "pass 'GO' and collect eternal life". You will, however, go to jail, FOREVER!
It is essential that one come to the inevitable conclusion God loves all mankind including those with whom we may have persistent contention. If one wants more of God's blessing, made available by Jesus at the cross, one must recognize what is and isn't God's kind of love in their own life. If one allows a spirit of unforgiveness to take root in their walk with the Lord, it will eat a person alive from the inside out. Where the spirit of unforgiveness is; Jesus isn't.
Another facet of Matt. 7:1 was something I never realized would happen even before a person passes from this life to the next. That scripture not only applies to the afterlife, it also applies to what is happening in the now. Wrongly judging another will bring judgment against a person through very difficult tribulations which I believe won't happen if someone truly has a clean heart. When one is blessed with the ability to love others no matter what, no circumstance or unclean spirit will be allowed to have dominion over a person's life (see Romans 8:28). When you get it, you'll get it, or when you give it, you'll receive it.
Again, the words of Jesus come back so clearly when He said to me one day, "Did you want something from Me, or do you want Me to be Lord over everything in your life. Give Me your life, and I'll give you Mine." I don't know who I feel sorry for most: those who don't know Jesus, or those who do, but don't act like it. After I posted my retort to the Christian who cut me deep, I heard the Spirit of the Lord say to me, "Are you happy now?" I had to admit I wasn't.
So what is that unclean spirit to which I eluded which is allowed to take residence in our congregations? A religious spirit. It has all the appearance of righteousness on the outside, but bares only the fruit of unrighteousness. I call it parasitical phariseeism. It has the outward appearance of being good, but it turns away those for whom Jesus gave His life. I don't know how it happens, I just know it does. Somewhere along the way, the true message of Jesus gets buried under trying to live by the law and earn one's salvation. It happens not only to a majority of believers, but is endorsed to a large extent from the pulpits of America. On the one hand, Christian's are constantly trying to figure out the formula for living a life worthy of eternal life without committing themselves to it on a daily basis. It is like looking for a loophole in the law by which one can be saved and still go to heaven without making a heartfelt commitment to Jesus. Then on the other hand, one is persistently affected by trying to live a holy, righteous life and seeing the bar continually raised just out of reach. If you don't believe me, watch how Christians interact with one another on this site alone. The hard and fast truth is, not one person past or present has or ever will live their life truly holy enough to be accepted by God the Father. That, in a nutshell, is what Jesus did for those who believe in Him. When Jesus said, "Take up your cross, and follow Me," I think God knows we're going to make mistakes no matter how earnestly we desire to do otherwise. The Lord asks only two things of us once we have asked Him to come into our life: a.) try, and b.) don't quit. There are two ways to learn.
I want to share with you some things which the Lord has spoken to me during my prayer time. Every day I consistently pray, "Lord, I want to be with You. Lord, change me. I want to be a better person. Lord, not my way, but Your way."
Choo Nam's book, "Heaven Is So Real" made a real impact on my life with Christ. I wondered for a long time why the Lord wouldn't take me to heaven like He did with her. Oh, I've been shown some things by the Lord, but I admit it just didn't fulfill the earnest desire to be in His presence. One day, after telling Jesus I wanted to come home to be with Him, the Lord said the following to me: He said, "It isn't your time yet. There are things I want you to do for Me." I realized a while back that no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't make myself good enough to have the everlasting peace of God in my spirit one hundred percent of the time. I was comforted when He showed me the place I will live when I go to be with the Lord. Even though I know what He said, it doesn't tell me specifically what He meant by "things to do for Him" nor has it stopped me from asking Him for more of His presence in my life. The Lord told me once I should be content in hearing His voice. Forgive me Lord, but I want more.
For quite some time, Jesus would ask me if I believed in Him. He would ask me the question quite a bit. I would respond, "Yes Lord." Then He would admonish me to do what He told me to do, or say what He told me to say. One day, after having heard His Word unto me, I said, "Lord, I do believe in you; I just don't believe in me," because I was consistently failing to do what He told me to do, or say what He told me to say. The Lord replied immediately. He said, "I didn't ask you if you believed in you, I asked you if you believed in Me." Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of what I heard Him personally say to me so often during my prayer time, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I finally understood what He was telling me all along. I had made the mistake of allowing the weakness of my own flesh dictate the outcome of what the Lord had asked me to do or say. The just shall live by faith.
During another period of time, I wanted to tell God so much that I loved Him, but I was constantly reminded of the scripture in First John which says, "He that says he loveth me and hateth His brother is a liar." I wrestled with that verse for a long time until Jesus said to me one day, (again, after asking me frequently if I loved Him) "Would you desire to be with someone who you didn't love?" "No, Lord," I replied. And again, I got it. I didn't knowingly hate anyone, so why then was I afraid to tell the Lord I loved Him. There wasn't any reason good enough not to tell Jesus I loved Him. Now, I try to remember to tell God I love Him everyday.
Most recently, the Lord asked me the following question, "What do you believe the definition of "never" is?" I replied, "Well Lord, the only definition I can think of for "never"......is never." He said, "Exactly." Continuing, He said, "Mike, you're never going to do anything which is going to surprise me. I'm not mad at you when you fail to do what I told you to do or say what I told you to say. My love for you is not based on your performance. I want you to believe in Me. Stop worrying about whether you'll ever be good enough to be with Me. Mike, I'm never going to let you go. You will be with Me where I am." Then I saw in my spirit a picture of myself struggling to climb a ladder. Under me was utter darkness, and above me was a murky cloud. I couldn't see where I was trying to climb to even as hard as I struggled to go higher. Then I heard the Lord say, "Let go of the ladder." I thought about it for a minute, knowing what would happen in the natural if I let go of the ladder. I would fall. But yet God told me to let go. Was I going to trust His Word unto me, or was I going to continue to struggle to climb the ladder of the Law? OH GOD, WHAT SHOULD I DO??? "Let go of the ladder." I could see myself placing on hand over my eyes and letting go fearful of falling. Suddenly, this very large hand reaches down and grabs the other outstretched hand. Then I heard the Lord say, "I've got you. I'm not going to let go of you." The caveat of this vision is, unfortunately, the very real possibility of letting go of God. Speaking for myself, I don't even want to consider the ramifications. "Yes, but...." are the first two words of the sentence which amounts to "I don't trust you, God."
During those times when I want to pray or know I should, but my mind is inundated with everything except Jesus, I will just say straight out to the Lord, "Lord, I want to be with you, but I don't know what to say." Usually, the Lord will reply, "Speak to me with your heart. Tell me what is on your mind." I also speak in tongues and sing in tongues when I pray. This helps to focus my mind and my heart on being with Jesus. There have been times, though, when the Lord will tell me to stop speaking in tongues and listen. And lastly, something very important the Lord told me one day when I've been hurt by others, and every other thought seems to be a replay of the offense or burning the ears of the offender. The Lord said, "Give it to Me, and let it go." So when I feel my flesh desiring to relish in verbal revenge, I try to immediately speak out loud, "I've given it to the Lord." I usually have to do this several times over the course of a day or a week depending on how strong the urge is to do otherwise.
And lastly, regarding prayer, don't let other people tell you how you should pray or what you should pray. Inherent in man is the desire to give others advice. If what they tell you agrees with what God has told you, it is probably the Spirit of the Lord confirming what He told you in the first place. If it doesn't agree with what God told you, say thank you and ignore it. Just speak honestly from your heart and talk TO Him, not AT Him.
I don't know what hand life has dealt you, or what you have dealt yourself by the foolish decisions you've made and perhaps failed to take responsibility for. But I do know this. When I finally got to the point of not being able to stand the very skin in which I lived and came to the end of myself, one night, with tears streaming down my face, I said a very simple prayer, "Lord, save me." It was at that point the overwhelming powers of darkness began to recede. I had given God permission to work a miracle in my life, salvation. One precious drop of Christ's blood, one single ray of God's light, just one single word which is pure, peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated will change one's life forever.
I love you, God. |
