Its A God Thing
"Go ahead and cash it, the money is in the bank," my brother of like faith said after handing me the last of the money for the car I sold him. Yet, in my spirit something just didn't feel right. We spoke a little longer, even after making sure all the "i"s were dotted and the "t"s crossed in the formalities of transferring ownership, and then I bid him goodnight. "Finally," I said to myself as I walked out the door, "I can pay for the much needed repairs on my truck." As I turned the key in the ignition to the off position after pulling into the spot where we park SJ's car, I heard the Lord say, "Aren't you going to thank me?"
Eight months prior to selling a car to my brother in Christ, I sat watching my favorite Christian broadcasting channel air re-runs of it's march missions week mixed with their current appeals to continue their programming due to the rising costs of air time. I heard myself thinking that these people live better than I do, and they're asking me for money. I watched every day, seeing the total slowly creep upward, yet wondering if they would reach the goal by the date they needed to pay the money. On the last day, sitting in the chair next to the phone, their total in reach with the clock ticking, I said, "Lord, I'd like to sow a really big seed into your kingdom. I'd like to sow a seed which causes all my other giving to pale in comparison." I had hardly finished the sentence when I heard, "Give what you can, and I will bless you." So I pulled out the plastic and made the call.
It had only been a few days prior that Michael, a brother seeking a ministry, had moved on. Even though August was sparse, I knew I had had a good year thus far and was anxious for the rain to come back so the grass of my current customers could be mowed again. I knew I could pay the debt I had just committed to a tv ministry out of my employment wages, although I had hoped my credit indebtedness would be much lower by that time in the year. It seemed that every time I had any money, someone else always had a need which was far more serious than my own goals. The weather was quite warm at that time of the day, so I decided to go to church and pray for awhile, perhaps working outside when I returned.
It doesn't happen often, but when I came before the Lord, something just rose up inside of me which amounted to, "Lord, we need to talk." Forget humility, forget praise, forget thanksgiving; lets cut to the chase. I had known for quite sometime that my spiritual life wasn't what I wanted it to be. I had become lax in my seeking and diligent in gathering the blessing which was an increase of work on the side. Even during the lean month of August I just couldn't seem to connect with the Lord like I had earlier in the year. Instead of kneeling at the alter, I stayed in the pew. Not long after, trying to gather my thoughts, I was standing and talking, walking back and forth in front of the large stained glass window with the simple wooden cross centered in the middle. It is almost eerie how the light seems to come through that window regardless of the time of day.
I said, "Lord, I have been giving, and giving, and giving. I have asked you for a newer truck. Lord, the front end is beginning to shake because I need new tires! Lord, you have said to me that it is coming. Lord, WHEN IS IT COMING?!" Worn out by my own frustration, I sat down in front of the prayer alter and laid my head in my crossed arms. I began to wonder why I had even come to church that day, and wondering where I had missed the Lord. Then HE spoke, "Michael, do you trust me?" Oh Lord, please don't ask me that. I want to so much, but I don't know how much longer I can hang on. "Michael, believe in Me. I have a purpose for your life. Be patient, it is coming."
I left that day both glad and sad. I was glad the Lord had spoken to me because almost every time HE speaks I am comforted by HIS words, but I was also saddened because I had lost my temper with the One I knew (and still know) had saved my life because a few years ago, I was spiritually dead. I got in the truck and slowly drove home, keeping my speed down to keep the front end from shaking so much.
The next Sunday, a couple approached me in church before the service started. The wife of the couple said to me, "The Lord told us to give you our car." I don't know whether it was obvious, but I thought after hearing what was said to me, "Excuse me, did you just say what I thought you said?" Instead, I think I had that "huh" look on my face after hearing quite clearly what she had said. I replied, "Well, I don't really know what to say, but thank you." Back to the prayer alter.
"Lord, I don't want a car. I want a truck." HE replied, "I know. You asked me for a big seed. Here is your seed. Go and accept the car in my Name." So that is exactly what I did.
In my Christmas letter of '07, I spoke of the details of what transpired in my prayer time with the Lord about the car, what HE told me concerning the vehicle, and the circumstances which arose during my possession of it. But what the Lord told me, and what eventually happened was far from my expectation. You would think, having been blessed so often, I wouldn't be so surprised because God never seems to do anything the way I think something is going to come to pass. A week or so later, a co-worker gave me a set of used tires which were meant for their own vehicle before it bit the dust. About a week after that, my truck started giving me problems.
Between the beginning of November and the end of April, I did more walking than driving my truck. The truck had a timing problem, and I was determined not to put anymore debt on my credit card to fix it. By the time March had arrived, I was walking back and forth to work on a regular basis. While the truck would run, it wouldn't run like it should. So I used it sparingly. In January, I had enough extra money to finish the most needed repairs to the car I took possession of in early October. The total was about $240.00. After repairing the car and settling on the price I wanted to sell it for, I asked the Lord how to go about selling the car. HE said, "I will bring you the buyer." Now if you're thinking this can't possibly be true, as God is my witness, it gets even stranger.
On March 5th, after the regular Wednesday night prayer meeting, I stopped by the place where my brother in Christ, Arron (not his real name), works. At the time, Arron worked in a convenience store at night and sold insurance during the day. Arron had a life transition which all too suddenly pushed him from a tax bracket of relative security to one of desperation. He had gotten himself into debt so far over his head that his wife divorced him, and his children would no longer speak to him. I met him at the place where I work because Arron is the type of person who always seems to be on the move, looking for the next prospective client. He would frequently come by where I worked. As I got to know Arron, I also got to know about his life. At one point, I asked him if he knew the Lord.
Arron answered in the affirmative, but it seemed that somewhere along the way all of the circumstances of life had at some point put God on the back burner. He told me that before he started selling insurance, he had an upper level management position in the local Christ centered attraction. That being said, I still wondered if he had had an actual relationship with the Lord. In the few years I have known Arron, I have seen him make great strides after coming to grips with where he is now compared to where he was before his divorce. In fact, Arron has a relationship with Jesus which frequently builds me up during those times when life is getting the better of me.
Shortly after Arron and I began to share our relationship with the Lord with one another, Arron went into the hospital. Arron is an insulin using diabetic. One night, after miscalculating the injected dosage, he went into a diabetic coma. God was with him because Arron told me after the incident that his sugar level (or whatever it is which causes a diabetic to go into such a state) was so high he shouldn't have lived to tell about it.
Still on fire and filled with Holy Spirit, I had finally gotten my ticket to the local honoring of the National Day of Prayer breakfast. I was really looking forward to it because I wanted so much to meet other brothers and sisters in Christ which I didn't know, or whom I didn't know who had a passion for prayer. Then Arron went into the hospital. Not knowing his condition, I did know, given his wife and children's estrangement toward him, he would probably be lonely. I learned that another person and his mother were going to the same hospital on the very day of the breakfast because the son was recovering from leg trauma which was failing to heal. So I decided to give up my ticket and go see Arron. Before I went, I asked the Lord what I should say to Arron because I really wanted to witness to him how God had saved my life, and how much I knew God would save Arron's. But the Lord said, "Be a friend." As it so happened, minutes after coming into his room in the critical care unit of the hospital, the doctor came in and told him he could go home that day.
Back in the store, Arron was working behind the counter as usual. He said, "Would you like to take a couple of slices of pizza home for you and your bride?" I said, "Arron, I'm not sure I should. As much as I like the free pizza every once in awhile, I don't want you to think I come in after church for that." He countered with something which two months later I distinctly remember. He said, "I know that, but you're my brother." It was as if the Lord had somehow brought us together to get to know each other. Every time Arron says "see ya later" or I say the same, I always try to tell him I love him as if we were born to the same parents. About three days later, the block cracked in Arron's vehicle. Suddenly, Arron was without transportation.
Knowing some of the details of Arron's current lifestyle and his constant restlessness when not confined behind a counter waiting on customers, I was very concerned about how this might cause him to become depressed and set him back to square one. I also knew I had a perfectly good vehicle which I wasn't using in spite of my own woes with my truck which he could drive until the Lord brought me the buyer, or he found other transportation. A couple of days after Arron's vehicle had stopped running completely, he came into where I worked. I told him about the car, and I asked him if he wanted to use it with the understanding that I expected the car to sell rather quickly. He said, "Yes, and thank you."
I told SJ about Arron and asked her if she would mind my borrowing two hundred dollars from our joint savings to tag and insure the car. She was, surprisingly, okay with it. So I did what I needed to do to get the car legal to drive and took the car to where Arron was staying. He got behind the wheel, and that was the last day I drove the car. One night, I drove by where he worked and noticed he had backed the car into a parking space in front of the store. I thought to myself, "You stinker. You're purposefully keeping the "For Sale" sign in the back window obscured from view." I wondered about whether I had done the right thing by letting him use the car, especially if he was going to hinder my chances of the car being sold. Then I began to remember what Arron had said to me which had stuck so clearly in my mind, "we're brothers."
Now I had a dilemma. You see, every year for the past two years I've made a "passover" offering to the Lord prior to Resurrection Day. Two thirds of the sale of the car was going to be my offering to the Lord, and the last third was going to pay my taxes and fix my truck. But what was I going to do now? Somehow I just knew that car was meant for Arron, but there was no way he could afford to pay what I expected to receive from the sale. I never try to pray half-heartedly, but my prayer time got even more serious due to the nature of this particular situation. So I prayed. After anguishing over it and praying about it the Lord spoke, and HE said, "Do you remember the widow who gave the two copper coins at the temple?" I replied, "Yes, Lord." Continuing, the Lord said, "Michael, you think it is about the amount when you give, but it is not the amount which matters to me, it is the sacrifice. Give and it is given."
Now I have to tell you, even though one would think it obvious as to the Lord's Will in this situation, I needed more from the Lord to feel right in my heart concerning the Lord and Arron. In first Corinthians, the eighth or ninth chapter regarding giving, Paul admonishes the Corinthian church with these words, "as a man purposeth in his heart, so let him give." Every time I had ever felt the Spirit of the Lord nudge me to give for whatever reason, I followed through as I had purposed in my heart. The Word of God says that the Lord knows every thought which we give any amount of time to. A day or so after I had heard from the Lord, I asked the Lord, as is my usual habit, to lead me to where HE wanted me to read HIS Word. HE said, "Matthew chapter 12." So I started at the beginning of the chapter and began to read. Matthew chapter twelve verse seven says, "But if ye had known what this meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless." There it was, the peace I needed to know it was the Lord's Will for Arron to have the car; "I will have mercy, and not sacrifice."
The next time I spoke to Arron, I told him I would sell him the car for five hundred dollars if he could pay me before April 15th. After the shock wore off of his face, he quietly replied, "Yes, I can do that." It was about three and a half weeks away from Tax Day. But I should have known that five hundred dollars was going to be as hard to collect as getting my truck repaired. Every week Arron would tell me he would have the money by a certain day, and every time he didn't have it. He was sincerely apologetic, and I would reply, "Don't worry about it, it is all good." Admittedly, I was concerned, but I wasn't going worry about it. I knew this situation was as much a test of my own faith as it was Arron's. I also know God does not usually show up early, but neither is HE late. Usually, the Lord is just in time. I suspect the Lord does this because HE wants us not only to know HE will always come through, but also to teach us to depend on HIM.
April 14th, I walked into the store where Arron was working with the title to the car in my pocket. When I approached the counter, Arron reached for his wallet and pulled out three one hundred dollar bills. He explained that he thought he was going to receive a check for five hundred dollars, but the agency, for whom he sells insurance products, held out the balance for taxes. Again, he apologized and said he should have the remainder within a few days. I took the three hundred dollars which covered my tax bill, expecting to be able to fix my truck within a few days after receiving the rest of the money from the sale of the car. By the end of the third week of April, still unpaid for the balance due on the car, I prayed. I said, "Lord, what am I going to do? Am I going to have to give Arron back the three hundred dollars and take the car back? Lord, he has been driving around on insurance which I paid for almost two weeks longer than I had intended to carry the policy. And I'm STILL WALKING!" And the Lord replied, "Tell him."
So the next time I spoke to Arron I told him I was going to cancel the policy I had taken out on the car so he could drive it. Arron told me he was certain he would have the rest of the money by that time. On the Thursday prior to the Friday I was determined to cancel the policy, I walked into the store again with the title to the car. I was hoping it would finally be over, but I honestly doubted Arron would have the money. As I greeted Arron, holding the title in my hand, Arron reached for his checkbook and wrote out a check for two hundred dollars. He said, "Go ahead and cash it, the money is in the bank."
After I had returned home with the check in my pocket, having heard the Lord say to me before I got out of the car, "Aren't you going to thank me?", I had this nagging in my spirit which made me wonder why I was not filled with the overwhelming desire to praise and thank God for finally bringing to pass what I had been hoping all along. That night, I took my bible to bed and asked the Lord to impress upon me what HE wanted me to read before going to sleep. HE said, "Ezekiel chapter eighteen." Almost a month prior to my reading that night, the Lord had impressed upon me to read the book of Ezekiel perhaps because of an incident which happened to me over a year earlier where the Lord had given me paragraphs one day instead of sentences. But that is another story.
I pretty much knew what I was going to be reading because a few days earlier I had been drawn to one specific verse. I read the chapter again, but this night I never made it past Ezekiel 18:8, "He that hath not given forth upon usury, neither hath taken any increase, that hath withdrawn his hand from iniquity, hath executed true judgment between man and man,". I closed my bible, pulled the string to turn off the lamp, and clasped my hands together against my forehead, "Lord, I'm sorry. I know all I needed was the money to pay the taxes, but I also wanted to get my truck fixed. I'll give the check back to Arron tomorrow." The Lord replied, "Have I not said I will take care of you? I have a purpose for your life. Do what I tell you to do, say what I tell you to say, and I will bless you."
The next day, I called Arron and asked him to come by the store before he went into work. When he arrived, I handed him the envelope with his check in it. He said, "What is this?" I replied, "It is the check you gave me last night." Then he asked me why, and I told him to read the scripture I had written on the back of the envelope. I said, "I think you'll understand." Then I proceeded to tell him what he had said to me about six weeks earlier when he said to me that we were brothers, and how his statement had made an impression upon my heart. When I saw the tears welling up in his eyes, he told me he had some other things to do before he went into work.
Remembering back to the day I took possession of the car, I wondered all along why the Lord wanted me to have that car. I know by experience it is rare that we ever really know why, and to this day God still awes me. I tried to be as honest as I could in writing this story out because even when I thought I was doing the right thing, I still made mistakes. As I said from the beginning, I never wanted a car. What I want is a newer truck. But more than that, my greatest desire is to see the Holy Spirit bring others to the Lord thereby increasing the Kingdom of God on earth.
I know at some point someone is going to pick up on what seems like a juxtaposition with regard to sacrifice and mercy. The only way I know how to justify the two in my own mind is by being obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit, knowing too, God blesses those who are willing to do what HE tells them to do. Sacrifice is giving what you have little of and would rather keep to someone else who is in a similar or worse situation. Mercy is an action shown to those who probably don't deserve it, but is given for the sake of love. I finally realized I was lusting after something which I could always say I did for the sake of the Kingdom of God, but was more of an issue of personal pride rather than the true Spirit of the Lord in showing HIS kind of love to a fellow brother in Christ.
Quite sometime ago, the Lord told me that HE did not expect HIS children to do everything when it came to feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and giving shelter to those who had no place to lay their head. What HE does expect of us is that we just do something within our ability to do so since anything we have, be it a little or a lot, has come from HIM. It finally dawned on me why I was supposed to receive the car. God knew Arron was going to need a car prior to my receiving the car. HE also knew that I am willing to give (although there are times it is like pulling teeth) because that is one the gifts I've received by way of the Holy Spirit. While I am certain I do not know all of the things I have learned from this experience, I do know God told a couple to give me a car, to give to another who ultimately would need the vehicle. Because Arron does not attend the same church I attend, it is unlikely Arron would have received the car from the couple who gave it.
But what is even more wonderful is how the Lord gave each party in this drama the opportunity to be obedient to HIS Will. And to each one, HE showed us HE answers our prayers. Give and it is given. To those who know, and to those who know not, one thing is certain, it is a God thing.
But how do I really know it was God, and not just circumstance or coincidence? My tax bill this year was two hundred seventy one dollars and change. I spent two hundred thirty-five dollars on the car to get it road worthy, and after receiving the refund for the unused portion of the six month premium, the difference between the premium and the refund was thirty-nine dollars, plus the cost of the tag brought the total spent to just over three hundred dollars and change. Also, when seeking the Lord's Will over sponsoring a child through World Vision over three years ago, I won thirty-one dollars on a four out of six lotto ticket (I quit gambling for good shortly thereafter). Every month, SJ and I send thirty dollars to World Vision which is a little over the amount needed to sponsor each child through the organization. Why is that significant, you ask? Because the numbers on the tag I purchased for the car were 031. Was it all God? I have no doubt in my mind that it was.
And my truck is fixed. I got so fed up with it not running that I took it to a mechanic after replacing the distributor failed to fix the timing. The rebuilt distributor cost $73. The additional cost of repairs cost $107, most of it being labor. Within a week after the repairs, I had made all of the money back to fix the truck through yard work on the side.
I sincerely pray all who read will at some point in their life call upon the Name of the Lord, that you may know that you know Jesus lives!
In HIS Name,
Mike |
