| Moderated By: Don Pueblo -- (Moderated) -- Started: 11/30/2000 8:12:31 AM Revision History |
It makes total sense if you think about it.
Canada just had their election and the Liberals won big, 40% of the vote. The conservatives, who call themselves Queenies or something like that, had their votes usurped by the French Canadian party, The Moosehead Party, the Hockey Party, and the Ice Fishermen Party, I believe.
Look at the logistics. Canada has no way to defend itself from an invasion by the Democrats from the United States. You just drive across the border! This is totally bloodless!
Here's the proposal: Al drives across the border to Canada with Bill Daley, Warren Christopher, Dave Boies, and the rest of the team, including all the union administrative personnel. They go to whatever the main city is up there and take over. They call it New Canada. Then Al goes on TV up there and offers the following deal to the Canadians. (Al has to make sure he has the Canadian flags behind him and not the American flag.)
President Gore's Address to the Fine Citizens of New Canada
"My fellow New Canadians. And I say that with a great amount of pride.
"I want every citizen of our Great Frozen Land to count. In the past, every citizen has not been counted. There are tens of thousands of Canadian citizens that should have a full, fair, and accurate count. I have assumed control of this country by whatever means necessary, and there is nothing you can do about it so just listen and shut up.
"I propose today the following Plan:
"Every Democrat in the United States that thinks I got screwed in the election and won't survive being ruled by that nimrod from Texas will be allowed to cross the border into Canada and get a free apartment and a free car and snowmobile or whatever, and free medical and dental and all that, a license to practice law, and a good job working for me! In exchange for that Democrat arriving in Canada, one conservative Canadian will be allowed instant U.S. citizenship and will be bussed down to Florida. There are lots of Canadians there already, by the way. Each conservative Canadian will receive a check for twenty dollars (Canadian), a Florida lottery ticket, a beautiful fruit basket with fresh fruit, and a newspaper so he can find somewhere to live and a job in the United States and all that.
"I haven't checked with George Bush on this yet, but I'll bet he goes for it.
"Once the transition is complete, all the Democrats will be up here in Canada, eh! All the old fossilized conservatives will be in Florida! Are you with me? All we do is just move back down over the border, and we take the whole place except for a few states we don't need and nobody likes anyway like Florida and Texas and Mexico. You get to keep your apartment up here and you get a few acres in Nebraska or wherever. Then we have everything, we have this, we have Detroit and Chicago, everything! If you are a Democrat and you already live in Kansas or Minnesota or one of those weird places with no cities, you can just hang out.
"Thank you, and God bless America. I mean New Canada. What? The Queen? What queen? You're high. Really? Where? Great Britian? Right. No problem.
"God bless me, myself, and I!
"Thank you, and good evening."
Let's talk about it! No conservatives on this thread please.