Copyright © 2013 Knight Sac Media. All rights reserved.http://www.siliconinvestor.com/subject.aspx?subjectid=7983Thread rules modified May 25 2010. Due to contuinued bantering over what is funny and what is not and who might be offended and who might not - as of 3.17 EST May 25, 2010 there will be immediate bans if you do not post a joke and a JOKE ONLY. You see someone posting a joke that penetrates your thi...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/images/Logo380x132.pnghttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/subject.aspx?subjectid=798338013210ponokeeOBAMA DENIES ROLE IN GOVERNMENT [graphic] WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report)—President Obama used his weekly radio address on Saturday to reassure the American people that he has “played no role whatsoever” in the U.S. government over the past four years. “Right now, many of you are angry at the government, a...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=289028255/19/2013 12:40:51 AMponokeeBRITISH HUMOR The train was quite crowded and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length of the train looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle aged French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am may I have that seat"? The French woman just sniffed and said to no one...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=289010315/17/2013 4:38:30 PMJimisJimWhile Nostradamus was alive, he was in great demand by the various churches and temples in the area. Since this got to be a strain running from place to place, the religious groups got together and hammered out a schedule where they would each get Nostradamus' services for one or two days a month on a rotating basis. I...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=289004655/17/2013 1:10:06 PMaladin'Foolish mistakes'Ousted IRS chief: It wasn't on purpose Steven Miller told a skeptical Congress today the IRS didn't target conservatives deliberately. He apologized for "horrible customer service" but said it was "not an act of partisanship." Think this is 'The Onion'? No this is CNN. Too funny....http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=289003225/17/2013 12:32:23 PMThe RabbitA gang of thieves broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. The police have nothing to go on.http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288983415/16/2013 1:19:53 PMbookmakerIn a recent survey commissioned by president obama, his supporters have proven to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower. The survey was carried out for democrats by a leading soap and toiletries firm. The results revealed that 86% of obama supporters said that they have had sex in the shower. The remaini...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288977185/16/2013 9:47:01 AMJurgis Bekepurishttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288969585/15/2013 6:45:01 PMHigh Graderhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288969285/15/2013 6:29:33 PMJurgis Bekepurishttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288968885/15/2013 6:17:50 PMHigh Graderhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288966885/15/2013 4:53:21 PMJimisJimA gang of thieves stole a shipment of Viagra. Police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288966605/15/2013 4:45:34 PMHawkmoon Present For Husband A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet a...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288957185/15/2013 11:36:11 AMJimisJimThey arrested the Pfizer pharmaceutical rep for hitting a pharmacist because he wouldn't buy their popular pill---he was charged with Viagravated assault.http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288917595/13/2013 3:59:52 PMponokeehttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288912685/13/2013 12:00:54 PMponokeeSupreme Court Gives Gore’s Oscar to Bush Stunning Reversal for Former Veep Just days after former Vice President Al Gore received an Academy Award for his global warming documentary “An Inconvenient Truth,” the United States Supreme Court handed Mr. Gore a stunning reversal, stripping him of his Oscar and awardin...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288912095/13/2013 11:21:59 AMBrumar89San Francisco Allows Happy Meals After McDonald’s OK’s Back Room Fisting By Mark Donahue [graphic]SAN FRANCISCO – Representatives for the McDonald’s Corporation met with members of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors yesterday hoping to settle their dispute over the sale of Happy Meals in San Fr...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288901395/12/2013 4:31:07 PMSmoothSailhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288894055/12/2013 12:19:31 AMCeltictraderA fireman comes home from work and is all excited. He just can’t wait to tell his wife the good news about a new system that they have down at the station. “Honey!” he says, “you’re not going to believe this! Down at the station we have this new system and it’s so great. When Bell #1 goes off we put on all o...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288892065/11/2013 8:02:40 PMbasserdanGawkers cannot believe shape of Chinese newspaper’s sizable HEADquarters The new building for the People's Daily newspaper, the official paper of China's Communist Party, raises eyebrows and sparks lowbrow humor. By Michael Walsh NEW YORK DAILY NEWS Thursday, May 9, 2013, 12:05 PM [Text Chart] The Chinese govern...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288890215/11/2013 4:46:58 PMRonAnd now, as a public service we present this special announcement: (The Right Wing Troll Notification System) soundcloud.com http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288889945/11/2013 4:22:18 PMTechKimAfter buying my lottery tickets. I turned around to leave. A little old lady was standing there. I told her not to buy a ticket, as I just bought the winner. She walked off! lol!http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288888305/11/2013 2:02:51 PMDoug Coughlanhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288883095/11/2013 8:52:05 AMCeltictrader 1. Three men were doing they’re normal “I can top you” routine. The first man says, “I can remember back to the first day I was in nursery school.” The second man says, “I can to that. I can remember back to the day I was born, hearing the doctor congratulating my mother on what a big, healthy baby I was.” The thir...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288882345/11/2013 6:45:00 AMThehammerhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288876445/10/2013 6:12:23 PMSr KDoesn't that cop look like New Jersey Governor Chris Christie before his surgery? If so, who's asking the question?http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288876405/10/2013 6:08:39 PMSmoothSailhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288873515/10/2013 3:32:45 PMCeltictraderThis kid walks into a general store one day and asks for a job. The owner tells him that he doesn’t need any help. The kid is persistent so the guy tells him to watch him when the next customer comes in. If he can do what he ...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288872195/10/2013 2:39:10 PMGROUND ZERO™http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288867795/10/2013 11:52:23 AMponokeeGo to the Spanish club for a beer. Most fun I ever had dancing with women from the Dominican until the sun came up. http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288866635/10/2013 11:00:03 AMBrumar89http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288865065/10/2013 10:08:01 AMGROUND ZERO™http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288857405/9/2013 9:08:27 PMGROUND ZERO™http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288857365/9/2013 9:06:41 PMBuckeyOMG as moderator I can pipe in with a huge LOL having lived in Toronto. OJ. stolen from the flub The bolded one so applies to me as my doctor away and I have the best looking MD ever as a fill in. And I hung out a med frat a lot in my long university tenure Here are a few good ones: The human body has 7 trilli...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288854825/9/2013 6:31:32 PMSmoothSailhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288852635/9/2013 4:49:31 PMRonhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288852585/9/2013 4:44:00 PMIan@SII was in a pet shop when I noticed a Muslim with the most amazingly coloured parrot perched on her shoulder. "Where did you get that from ?" I asked. "Brampton" !!!... There's f'n thousands of 'em!" ........said the Parrot. [graphic]http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288851285/9/2013 4:01:17 PMIan@SIhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288838185/9/2013 3:01:36 AMSteve FelixWoman Stops Grizzly Attack With .25 Cal Pistol This is a story of self control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber you trust to protect yourself? The Beretta Jetfire: [graphic] While out hiking in Alberta C...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288832795/8/2013 6:45:16 PMSmoothSailhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288825565/8/2013 1:31:49 PMponokeeTwo very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yessir, I did it three times last night with a 30- year-old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding. I can't even manage to do it once. What's your secret?" Elmer replies, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread." So the second old man r...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288824095/8/2013 12:46:59 PMJimisJimAfter getting all his luggage loaded in the limo, and His Holiness doesn't travel light, the limo driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Hey, Mr. Pope.." says the driver, "Why have you not seated yourself in this excellent limo?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288805665/7/2013 2:43:57 PMHawkmoonhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288803945/7/2013 1:32:36 PMCeltictraderFather Murphy walks into a pub in Dublin, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then s...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288803485/7/2013 1:14:24 PMMichael Mc DonoughA WOMAN'S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks.. ...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288799355/7/2013 10:43:26 AMkidlWoman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 b...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288770645/6/2013 12:06:55 AMHigh Graderhttp://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288769595/5/2013 10:26:55 PMStanThe typo was by the website the transcripted the scene. The Simpsons episode quoted it correctly.http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288768755/5/2013 9:07:15 PMSr KFor decades publishers have put one or more intentional typos in their work, to have definitive proof of copyright infringement. You passed along that line from Kipling, with an obviously wrong word. And 7 people appreciated it. Here's a source for the ending: freerepublic.com  ... Yours is the Earth and everythi...http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288768595/5/2013 8:54:32 PMManyMoose"The men and boys saw it as their duty to see that the women and children survived." Indeed, I don't think such an ethic exists anymore. Feminism would have none of it, I'm sure. I draw a lot of my life principles out of poetry. Many of them come from a book called "Old Blazes" written by Paul Croy many years ago....http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288768315/5/2013 8:31:15 PMManyMooseThat's a hoot! I never have watched the Simpsons. Simpsons episode reference Kipling's "If,"http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=288768085/5/2013 8:14:00 PM