Coffee Shop | LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE - Tell us a joke


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To: Cheeky Kid who wrote (43391)8/2/2010 1:10:48 PM
From: Cheeky Kid1 Recommendation   of 49014
 
Tom Mabe - NASCAR RACE PRANK
youtube.com 

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From: B.K.Myers8/3/2010 3:18:02 AM
4 Recommendations   of 49014
 
The baby prank

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From: FUBHO8/3/2010 12:29:06 PM
2 Recommendations   of 49014
 
Smartphone horror story No. 1: The accidental autocorrect When you think about it, letting a gadget guess what you want to say is really just asking for trouble.

"Scott," who works at a marketing and Web design firm, learned that the hard way. He was emailing back and forth with his brother, using some colorful language, when a message from a client came in to his phone.

The client's project had a four-letter acronym that started with a "c." It was just a letter or two off from a certain other four-letter "c" word -- yes, that one -- and as luck would have it, the more vulgar variation had made its way into the memory on Scott's phone.

"My brother and I exchange some pretty insulting emails, and like all smartphones, my phone remembers what I type in," he explains. "When I emailed the client back, it jumped in and swapped out the project's real acronym with that other 'c' word."

Scott fired off the email, not realizing it described his client's project as the "C--- project" (I'll let you fill in the blanks). The client -- who, naturally, happened to be especially conservative -- was appalled. He wrote back within minutes to let Scott know.

"I was mortified. I couldn't believe it went through that way," Scott says. "The worst part was trying to explain away the fact that I had used that word enough to get it in the phone's dictionary."

computerworld.com 

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To: FUBHO who wrote (43396)8/3/2010 2:05:22 PM
From: Stephen O1 Recommendation   of 49014
 
1. You CANNOT stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time.



2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.



3. And discover #1 is a lie.



4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.



5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.



6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.



I apologize about this, but I'm an idiot, and I needed company

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From: Patrick Slevin8/3/2010 3:41:36 PM
12 Recommendations   of 49014
 
The 11th husband.......

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a Virgin ".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the art method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it...

"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was lick it..... God I miss him.

" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

"You're with the GOVERNMENT, this time I know I'm gonna get screwed."

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To: Patrick Slevin who wrote (43398)8/4/2010 10:11:24 AM
From: Stephen O4 Recommendations   of 49014
 
Bullshit Bingo


Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here is a way to change all of that! How to play: Check off each block when you hear these words during a meeting, seminar, or phone call. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout BULLSHIT!




Synergy-Strategic Fit-Gap Analysis-Best Practice-Bottom Line

Revisit-Bandwidth-Hardball-Out of the Loop-Benchmark

Value Added-Proactive-Win Win-Think Outside the Box-Fast Track

Result Driven-Empower-Knowledge Base-Total Quality-Touch Base
[or] Empowerment [or]Quality Driven



Mindset-Customer Focus[ed]-Ball Park-Game Plan-Leverage


Testimonials from satisfied players:

"I had only been in the meeting for five minutes when I won." -Jack W. - Boston

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." -David D. - Florida

"What a gas. Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." -Bill R - New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the 5th box." -Ben G. - Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'Bullshit' for the third time in 2 hours." - Kathleen L. - Atlanta

My apology, it looks better when set up in a table which is how I read it.

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To: Stephen O who wrote (43399)8/4/2010 10:24:05 AM
From: Stephen O8 Recommendations   of 49014
 
DEER CAMP...
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do? Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire. "Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want." So, Here I am

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To: Stephen O who wrote (43400)8/4/2010 11:24:20 AM
From: Rangle1 Recommendation   of 49014
 

Funny stuff

My 2 cents


Whats black & brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A Doberman...

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From: arno8/4/2010 4:56:04 PM
16 Recommendations   of 49014
 
With Chelsea's impending wedding, Hillary wanted to play the perfect Mom

She asked Chelsea... "Have you had sex with Marc?"

Chelsea answered .... "Not according to Dad"

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To: arno who wrote (43402)8/5/2010 8:56:11 AM
From: microhoogle!5 Recommendations   of 49014
 
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'
'Mrs. Sanders, please.'
'Speaking.'
'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another
Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's(loss of memory) and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'
'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.
'Normally we can, but Discovery will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'
'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'
'The folks at Discovery recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town - If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'

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