Coffee Shop | Jokes and Humor Only


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To: deeno who wrote (1817)8/2/2011 7:25:20 PM
From: Stan   of 2290
 
It was clever. Did a double take before I got it.

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To: deeno who wrote (1814)8/2/2011 11:01:49 PM
From: pgsachs2 Recommendations   of 2290
 
Aw, frik! I took that one hook, line, and sinker.

What can I say?

I was ready, way too ready, to rant about the humor-Nazis. And maybe a bit too gullible to understand parody. Well played!

8^)



OJ:

Q. What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

A. The taste




(Yeah, it posted in '96 or so....)

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To: Stan who wrote (1818)8/3/2011 12:28:34 AM
From: High Grader3 Recommendations   of 2290
 
How about balance? Thread boss could you make a policy that is ok to tell a Democrat Joke if you also tell a Republican joke and vice versa of course.

All politicians tend to be jokes anyway.

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From: Tomato8/3/2011 3:00:23 PM
   of 2290
 
A company in Seattle is coming out with a medical marijuana patch for dogs and cats. So finally, dogs and cats won’t have to buy their weed illegally.

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To: Tomato who wrote (1821)8/4/2011 1:32:05 PM
From: The Rabbit   of 2290
 
> A company in Seattle is coming out with a medical marijuana patch for dogs and cats. So finally, dogs and cats won’t have to buy their weed illegally

Jimmy Fallon

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From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.8/4/2011 2:40:25 PM
1 Recommendation   of 2290
 
Swedish Man Arrested For Trying To Build Nuclear Reactor In His Kitchen
npr.org 
by Eyder Peralta

We're a bit late to this story, but it's too good not to pass along: A Swedish man was arrested late last month, after he tried to build a nuclear reactor in his kitchen.

The AP reported, yesterday:

Richard Handl said he had the radioactive elements radium, americium and uranium in his flat in southern Sweden when the police showed up.

He said on Wednesday he had always been interested in physics and chemistry and "just wanted to see if it was possible to split atoms at home".

Handl never tried to hide what he was doing. In fact, according to The Local, an English-language news site from Sweden, police went to his apartment after he contacted the Swedish Radiation Authority to ask if it was legal to build a nuclear reactor.

Handl even kept a blog about his adventures. He wrote about how he got radioactive Americium from a smoke detector and he posted a picture of a vial filled with glowing tritium.

In another post, he featured a picture of the remains of what he called "a meltdown" in his kitchen.

He wrote:

No, it not so dangerous. But I tried to cook Americium, Radium and Beryllium in 96% sulphuric-acid, to easier get them blended. But the whole thing exploded upp in the air...

In a post dated July 22, he writes that because of his arrest, his project had been cancelled.

Handl gave an interview to the Swedish Helsingborgs Dagblad (HD) newspaper. He was released from jail and told the paper he spent a little over $1,000 to build the reactor but he "got it going.

"I had just bought what was needed, so I do not know if it had worked," he told HD, according to a Google translation of the piece. "It's probably pretty hard to get it to work. But they took all my stuff, so now I'm done. Now I'll keep it at the theoretical level," he said.

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From: Ron8/4/2011 9:47:14 PM
5 Recommendations   of 2290
 
After being married for 46 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Forty six years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed
and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 68-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a
hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.



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From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.8/5/2011 12:17:05 PM
12 Recommendations   of 2290
 

E-Trade Baby Loses Everything.

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From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.8/6/2011 12:45:22 PM
4 Recommendations   of 2290
 
The unexpected consequences of a sagging economy:


My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"you should call them and ask

if they meant you or them.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now worth only 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

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From: EQ 8/8/2011 12:30:33 PM
1 Recommendation   of 2290
 
Charles McCord Outburst / Don Imus classic video:

3:10 run time

youtube.com 

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