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To: EQ who wrote (1683)7/22/2011 5:57:25 PM
From: Stan   of 2290
 
I wanted to start a Pessimist Club, but none of my prospective members thought it would work.

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To: Stan who wrote (1684)7/22/2011 5:58:36 PM
From: Stan   of 2290
 
Harry Potter set in the Wild West, Harry Potter and the Deathly Gallows.

(Don't laugh, I made that up.)

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From: Tomato7/22/2011 9:49:07 PM
3 Recommendations   of 2290
 



A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.

A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

'Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, Sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his
testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently.

Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you,
there's nothing wrong with them, Sir!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,

'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k ?

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From: jlallen7/23/2011 8:27:19 AM
12 Recommendations   of 2290
 
A few weeks back I eating lunch at Mickey D's when I overheard a young boy ask his mom, "What is tomorrow?"

She answered, "It's President's Day."

Then he asked her, "What is Presidents Day?"

She replied, "President's Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."

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To: jlallen who wrote (1687)7/23/2011 1:27:24 PM
From: longnshort14 Recommendations   of 2290
 
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who's hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man...Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle''..


Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a 'post turtle' was.


The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a

country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. '


"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with."

h/t burp up bonehead

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To: Tomato who wrote (1686)7/23/2011 3:17:43 PM
From: Arthur Radley12 Recommendations   of 2290
 
Tomato:
I think there is merit to 'jokes' about Presidents, with them however being limited to only Presidents that drove unemployment to the highest in the Post-Great Depression era (more than 10.5%) and then turned around and raised our taxes 11 times to solve the problem. With this criteria we could the current BS down to ZERO. Nothing like pinheads having to face the truth!


Joe Bob and Dolly had moved to Texas and were experiencing their first heat wave. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Joe Bob as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this/"

Dolly replied, "They'd probably think that I married you for your money."

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To: longnshort who wrote (1688)7/23/2011 6:55:48 PM
From: bucko12 Recommendations   of 2290
 
that's a recycled dumbya joke
why don't you get a life

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From: EQ 7/23/2011 7:08:11 PM
2 Recommendations   of 2290
 
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

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From: Cautious_Optimist7/24/2011 12:10:17 AM
9 Recommendations   of 2290
 
I can laugh at a funny joke about any Politician or public figure, or sacred cow.

My taste goes from politically incorrect Southpark to Howard Stern to Jackie Mason.. Pope jokes, Clinton BJ jokes, yo mamma jokes, fart jokes... pretty much, BRING IT ON.

But there has to be something more than an hominem attack to qualify as a joke, whether it be a Republican, Democrat or Independent that is the "target."

Otherwise it belongs in a political or trolling-friendly topic space, not jokes and humor.

JMHO

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To: John who wrote (1667)7/24/2011 12:16:17 AM
From: ChinuSFO3 Recommendations   of 2290
 
You should try your skills at writing novels where you can earn real money. After all. you do not need a larger truck to make more money "You just have to start writing." :) :)

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