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To: Amelia Carhartt who wrote (5261)5/30/2012 10:33:12 AM
From: DMaA   of 5762
 
Three old farts were talking over coffee.

First OF says, boy I'm getting forgetful. Sometimes I open up the refrigerator and forget why I was going in there.

Second OF says, I know what you mean. The other day I was half way upstairs and forgot why I was going up there.

Third OF says, boy, I'm lucky. My mind is still sharp as a tack...knock on wood - knocks the table with his nuckles - KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Third OF looks confused. Turns around. Says Come In!!

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To: DMaA who wrote (5263)5/30/2012 4:16:47 PM
From: ManyMoose   of 5762
 
I copied that over to the Laughter thread!

It's very funny!

For those of us who are so afflicted that is. We can laugh at our selves.

I had to edit my post three times to get DMaA right.

Just checked. Make that four.

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To: ManyMoose who wrote (5264)5/30/2012 4:27:34 PM
From: DMaA   of 5762
 
Works better if you tell it live.

Here's another one you really have to act out.

OF, first day in a nursing home. The aid puts him into a wheel chair and brings him to the sun room.

OF starts slowly leaning to the left.

The aid rushes up and straightens him up in his chair. Opposie. there you go.

Couple of minutes later OF starts slowly leaning to the right.

The aid rushes up and straightens him up in his chair. Opposie. there you go.

Just than is daughter comes into the room,.

Hi dad, how are they treating you,.

OF says Oh fine fine, Except they wont let you fart here.

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To: DMaA who wrote (5265)5/30/2012 4:30:32 PM
From: ManyMoose   of 5762
 
Do bears fart in the woods?

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To: ManyMoose who wrote (5266)5/30/2012 4:36:42 PM
From: DMaA   of 5762
 
Is this a joke? What's my straight man response?

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To: DMaA who wrote (5267)5/30/2012 4:38:18 PM
From: ManyMoose   of 5762
 
If bears don't fart, their breath makes up for it.

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To: ManyMoose who wrote (5268)5/30/2012 4:42:23 PM
From: DMaA   of 5762
 
No doubt LOL. Course if you're close enough to smell it you might not live to tell it.

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To: Amelia Carhartt who wrote (3344)5/30/2012 4:45:17 PM
From: Snowshoe   of 5762
 
Having lived in the same place for over 20 years, I'm now totally on auto-pilot while driving into town. When I hit the first major intersection I typically have this sudden moment of confusion: "Oh sh*t, where am I going?"

Guess I need to put a Post-It note on the dashboard, LOL.

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To: Snowshoe who wrote (5270)5/30/2012 5:03:51 PM
From: DMaA   of 5762
 
Back when I wasn't even old I was working on an embedded processor project. I'd make a change, take the file to an EPROM burner, burn a new chip, walk back to my desk and test it (didn't have an emulator). Repeat umpteen times over a period of months. Finally the project was done. 10 years pass. My office moves 3 times.

Comes up had to make a change to the device firmware. Changed the code, took the file to the EPROM burner, burned a new chip, walked back to my OLD DESK.

Guy sitting there says, yea, can I help you?

I'm just standing there confused.

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From: Snowshoe5/30/2012 5:20:11 PM
   of 5762
 
Moose behaving badly...

Be wary of moose during calving season, biologists say
6-year-old girl had her clavicle broken by a cow moose Monday.
adn.com 

"Cows are dropping calves all over town right now. If you're walking through a wooded area, you need to be extra vigilant," Coltrane said. "Those cows are so defensive of their little babies. They will literally stand there on the edge of the woods watching you, and if you take one step into their personal bubble, they'll come out hooves flying."

That's exactly what happened to Chloe Metzger outside her Eagle River home Monday. The girl's mother, Julie Metzger, said Chloe and an 11-year-old friend were jumping on a trampoline when they decided they would "go potty" in some bushes nearby.

The girls ran back to the yard with the moose right on their trail, Julie said. The older girl ran and hid in a playhouse with attached swing set, Julie said.

"My daughter didn't make it. I looked out and she was curled in a ball protecting her head," she said. "Everybody was screaming."

The moose stomped on Chloe's back with its two front hooves until Julie's husband, Wade, threw a log at it, she said. It stunned the moose long enough that Chloe was also able to run to the playhouse, and Wade threw a baseball bat at it, Julie said. Unfortunately for the girls, the moose ran into the swing set, became tangled and injured the older girl as well, Julie said. Eventually they were able to scare it away and rushed Chloe to a hospital.

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