|Dancing with the Stars|
Episode Recap: Ay Ca-rumba!
Holy smokes, it's Latin Night! With the exception of the quickstep, I will take a Latin dance over a ballroom dance any day. There's something so mundane about the fox trot that makes me slip into a boredom-induced coma. Luckily, we get a whole night of booty-shaking goodness. Who will the samba and rumba take as a victim this week? Let's dab on some Eau de D-List and find out! Yes, I have a million of these stupid D-List intros and they are all corny and ridiculous. If you are rolling your eyes right now, my work is done!
Mario — I enjoy his dancing so much it makes me crazy that more people aren't on the Mario bandwagon. He's very smooth and exudes sexuality. I hope he gains some fans so he can stay in the competition. Also, Karina is not my favorite pro but she looked amazing in that yellow outfit.
Cilla — Finally they left that woman's hair alone. She looked decent for the first time this competition. I'm extremely jealous that she can still do a split! I'm easily half her age and that's already impossible for me. This dance seemed to suit her a little more but the judges didn't like it, which made me wonder if I missed something.
Tom delivered some great news after Cilla danced, Def Leppard is going to be performing this season. Holy crap I love them so much it is borderline embarrassing. Speaking of embarrassing, Ashlee Simpson will also be lip-synching in the ballroom this season. I knew something was up when she announced her engagement to Pete Wentz. No way they are getting engaged if she wasn't pregnant, right? Or am I just too cynical? Has her sister's pathetic personal life taught her nothing about marrying early? Oy vey.
Marissa — I'm still hoping she goes home this week despite an energetic and entertaining dance. I don't know when my mood shifted toward her, but I just can't stand the sight of her. But this was her best routine and I admit my aversion to her isn't really about her dancing. If she's around next week she deserves it because of her performance tonight.
Cristián — This was a good dance but I don't think it's fair to give a male contestant the rumba because it's a seduction dance centered around the woman. Cheryl seemed to do most of the dancing tonight. However, he gets points for blood-boiling sex appeal!
Marlee — She struggled a bit with this and had some noticeable slip-ups. It's hard to knock her though because she still manages to entertain despite the frustration her disability creates. Sadly, we'll never know if she'd do better if she could hear. Then we'd really be able to measure the difficulty of what she does week to week.
Kristi — Like I said last week, I've run out of compliments for her. She's so stunning and I loved the dance and the song they danced to was perfect. How freakin' cute were her daughters? Some people say she's a ringer but I don't feel that way at all. Skating and ballroom aren't that much alike. Sure, the grace she learned in skating helps, but it's not dancing! I think people are jealous of her. I'll end this paragraph because I'm butt-kissing and making myself sick.
Shannon — Neck spasms, food poisoning…what's next? Castration? Derek better ditch that black cloud over him before he finds out. I thought for sure we'd see footage of his neck snapping. Durrr! He bounced back pretty well, but Shannon looked a bit awkward. She had the same problem with the jive a couple weeks ago. And she again looked like she was going to collapse afterward! She needs to work on her polish and stamina.
Jason — Still mad that he stole a 29 last week! But I love my Edyta, so I'll let it go. She has the coolest leg warmers. The only leg warmers I ever had were pink "Get in Shape Girl" ones circa 1985. Ladies of the 80s, do you remember that? Anywho, Jason did a decent job this week and seemed to lose a bit of his stiffness (hehe).
So that's it for this week. With the exception of a few stand-outs, I'd say it's going to come down to fan votes. Who are you voting for this week? Who will be under that creepy red light and one step away from a final dance? Let's chat below! Send me your power rankings, predictions and your pick for the encore dance tomorrow night. Dare I say Marissa might get it? Stop back tomorrow when we dissect the next results show!