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 Biotech / Medical : PFE (Pfizer) How high will it go?

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To: TradeOfTheDay who started this subject8/29/2000 12:50:24 PM
From: bob of 9498
 
Just a little humor.

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole new line of
drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's
society:

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips
caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got
lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely
to actually finish a household repair project before starting new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge
to perform more childcare tasks -- especially cleaning up spills and
"little accidents."

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle.
Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new
clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to
buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug
for only two days. Still to be seen: Whether the drug can be continued
for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently
undergoing clinical trials on sitting US presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to
turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family
members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases
back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long
car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with
O. F. D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the
test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of
other people.
Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special
prosecutors."

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked
about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury, and
Presidential Strength versions.
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