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 Coffee Shop : LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE - Tell us a joke

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To: 2brasil who wrote (11342)9/2/1999 5:14:00 PM
From: kenyshoe of 49003
 
Warning Labels

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer--Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos--You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap--Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners--Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box--Fits one head.
(Not the interstellar model)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)--Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding--Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron--Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine--Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
we just kept those 5-year-olds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid--Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife--Warning: keep out of reach of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese--made Christmas lights-For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.) (Or underground?)

On a Japanese food processor--Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts--Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts--Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Thanks, cuz I was thinking it was my complimentary pillow!)

On a Swedish chain saw--Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's superman costume--Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

* Consider yourself warned!!
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